well for once, the people who almost never come through came through. i guess if you have a little faith in the goodness of people, sometimes it works out. now we just have to have faith in the goodness of airlines...which could be a problem...but i don't really think so. everything will work out and a week from now, the world will be right.

in the meantime, i really need to clean my sty of an apartment. and my cat really needs to quit puking everywhere. no more milk for him!

today i found one of the best things i've found on the internet in a long time. a prize gem for a girl like me. it's the blog of a Soldier deployed to iraq who likes to call himself the last of the liberal soldier. it was incredibly slow today at work, and i somehow stumbled across his page in the midst of fumbling around through various news stories and photos. http://halfjack.typepad.com/halfjackcom/ i would HIGHLY highly recommend checking it out if you have any small interest whatsoever in politics, the war, our peers, soldiers, the army, the media, shit, just life in general. i absolutely love regular people who have a great talent for writing about the life that is so regular for them and so alien to most of us. Bart is most definitely at the top of that category of people, though he has neglected his blog quite a bit more on his afghanistan deployment than his time spent in iraq. if he was actually able to blog in afghanistan, the reasons why he can't now would show through. anyway, this guy is also a very talented amateur photographer with a real knack for manipulating his photos to show what he was really trying to capture when he took them. the link to his flickr photo page is on the blog. i also suggest checking that out. i have a strange feeling that spencer batchelder is going to become one of the many iraq war bloggers who publishes a book a little later.

and following in the footsteps of the cold, slow, sad feeling i get from reading about soldiers in combat, i received Bart's battallion's newsletter today. i ball my eyes out every single time i read it. every time, never fails. i am so incredibly proud of all of their accomplishments...these men are absolutely extraordinary in every way. put whatever bitter feelings aside about the politics and whatever else surrounding these wars...these men are risking their lives every second of the day for a year to truly help a country get onto its feet and to ultimately try their hardest to protect our own country and the rest of the west from any further distruction. yes they may have signed on the dotted line, but they believe in their cause and they're fighting for all the right reasons. it blows my mind every time i think about it. which is probably why it brings tears to my eyes. they're tears of pride and joy for the love of my life, tears of sadness for those we have lost, tears of anger at the fact these young men with families and babies and friends and mothers and fathers have to go through hell, tears of excitement and happiness at the thought they are almost ready to come home...among many other mixed emotions. i can say with confidence that i have learned and grown a lot this year because of Bart and his deployment and all the various things that go along with it. i will forever be a better, smarter, and stronger person because of it. and i never want to go through it again.

for the first time in at least a year, i feel like i'm aimlessly floundering, wandering around inside my head, not knowing what to do or say or think or feel. i've been very sure of myself for a long time now, and all of a sudden i feel like i'm losing grip on everything. i don't know why...totally unexpected...totally scaring me...and there's nothing i can do about it. i'm not sure how i could go from not questioning a thing to questioning everything. every unoccupied second i have, my mind is absolutely racing. and actually when my mind is occupied, it's still doing double duty lately. it's so strange how certain things can happen and just cause an explosion. i go from crying uncontrollably to being raving mad to just depressed and sad to happy and content...difficult to explain. difficult to get through, and even moreso because there will be no dealing with any part of it for a few more months. possibly a reason i'm having a hard time getting past it right now. but that's besides the point really. i should be able to handle myself. just really hard to be alone right now, i guess. and trying to come to terms with the fact that might not change. and struggling with everything else, from money to my complexion. is it the holidays that does this shit? jeez. i miss my friends, i miss my family, i miss Bart, i miss his family, i miss my damn Grandma Minnie so much i can't help but cry every time i think about how i didn't cry at her funeral. i practically yelled at my Grandma Suzie over thanksgiving about how no one even cared to let me have anything from Grandma's house when she died...just a random sampling of thoughts. wonderful, right? toss in a little bit of "the unit" style missions for the next 5 years, and you've got yourself a jumbled up little girl. i want my mommy. and i want my Bart home. NOW. for good.

i've been ordered to update, so update i will. (yes, Sergeant Lauzon!)

i bought my mommy wicked tickets for Christmas. actually it's for a combined Christmas/50th birthday present. (don't tell anyone my mom is turning 50 next july!!) i'm super stoked. we'll be going feb. 17. i've heard nothing but good things about the show, so i'm very excited to see it. plus i just love the theatre and it will be a blast! plus it's a sweet gift that will mean a lot to my mom and that's what i was going for. though she is already getting aggravated by how memorable i'm making her 50th, this is in a good way and she'll just have to live with it! luckily, other than that big gift, i didn't have to buy too many this year, which is good for my financial situation. by the time i'll be giving Bart his Christmas present when he gets back, i won't have to be so worried about money anymore. then i can spoil him rotten, just like usual :) i think i'm still bitter he's not letting me buy him a present...guess that'll just make it bigger and better when he does get it and it'll just bite him right in the butt that he didn't let me do it in the first place! i think my favorite part about Christmastime is giving presents. i love getting really cool, thoughtful gifts that put smiles on the faces of those who mean most to me :) *tear* i'm all Christmas spirit up in here!!! really, i am. my Christmas tree is just lovely :) it's decorated with all the most wonderful ornaments i've been receiving as gifts since i was a little little girl. and now i finally have my own tree to put them on. i even started my own personal collection with one ornament for Bart and one for myself. Bart's is a patriotic Santa, and mine is a little Brewer riding a scooter!!! very cool :)

and speaking of Bart and being happy, he makes me the happiest girl in the whole wide world!!! i love him so much and i fall more and more in love with him every single day :) continuing on with my story, recently the army stopped sucking so much, just a little bit, and we've been able to email over the past few days and for the next few days. FRICKIN SWEET!!!!! honestly, i think that everyday people who don't have to go through tough deployments don't realize that one email a day is like a frickin gift from heaven...how special and important it really is. many people take for granted the constant communication that the world of today in America provides. not me, and not ever again. i long for days with regular phone calls and calls on the way home from work, "hey honey, you need me to pick up anything on my way home?" and chatting on the couch about our days...i can't even describe how amazing it is to see an email from Bart when i wake up in the morning!! and another one today at work!!!! i feel like i might just explode with happiness and excitement!!! being able to keep in halfway decent contact is absolutely wonderful. i am embracing it for all it's worth until it's so rudely taken away from us again! every i love you means the world to me :) plus it provides just a little taste of the Bart humor and personality i miss so much and love so dearly. i can't wait to have it back every day!

today when i was walking to the oriental box office to get my wicked tickets, i passed through the little christkindl german market across the street from my building. they have some portajohns there, and all day long i could not stop laughing because this is what i saw: HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM PORTAJOHN! hahahhaahaaaaa does anyone else think that is ridiculously hilarious??!!!??? damn, i hope so because i really laughed my ass off when i saw it! associating portable toilets and that horribly strong smelling blue goo with happy holidays just seems wrong on so many levels...

so i just got the part to make my computer turn on. finally!! i was without my beloved toshiba for ONE WHOLE WEEK!!!! yeah, this girl was not a happy camper!!! i can't even believe i had to go through a weekend with no internet access. not cool at all! i have become one of those incredibly internet dependent people; i literally almost can't live without it! college has definitely made me that way. having to have a computer and having ethernet constantly at your fingertips will do that to a person. and i realize it's a little ridiculous, most people live without the internet or computers just fine, but not me, and i will freely admit it!!! it is probably the one thing that i refuse to give up, no matter how poor i am, no matter what situation i am in. unless i am in the caribbean or something, i want to be able to get on the internet!!! it's how i communicate with my friends, it's how i stay up on what's happening in the world (i refuse to watch the tv news), it's how i communicate with Bart a lot of the time, it's the damn information superhighway!! all i can say is that i am very thankful i purchased the service plan for my computer at best buy. thank you for the free replacement parts :) next time, just get them here a little quicker!!!! :)

other than that, same old same old. work is fine. getting better. i have sooooo much to learn, but i'm getting there. my boss absolutely loves me and thinks i am doing wonderfully. she has praised me a myriad of times since i started, and has told me great things like i have a good intuition for the business. that's quite the compliment coming from her, considering she has 30 years in the property management business. i think i'm in a good spot, even though it might take a year or so to get the ball rolling down the path i would like it to roll down quickly...if that made any sense. but everyone has to earn their stripes and start at the bottom to get to the top. i'm ok with that, as long as i'm getting meaningful experience in the meantime, which i am. and i'm also getting holiday presents and really swanky parties at excellent chicago locations :) sweet!

haven't heard from Bart in a while and it's making me sad. i miss him so much :( i'd do anything to have him home sooner than march. but i'd also just plain do anything for him, so waiting falls under that category. anyway, random, i know, but that's what my blog is for :) expressing my strange thoughts and feelings, most of the which are love for my baby!!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!! i hope everyone had a wonderful wonderful holiday! and i hope everyone enjoys the long weekend and all the crazy shopping that will probably ensue :)

Things I am Thankful For:

Bart
my mommy
my family
Bart's family
my friends from college
my friends from home
my girls Randi and Jackie and Cheryl too
Brewer
MSU
Chicago
my great apartment
my job
the troops
the internet and satellite phones

and so much more! most of all i am thankful for the amazing people in my life who are always there for me, making me smile and always supporting me. this roller coaster wouldn't be nearly as fun without all of you! and it wouldn't be anything like what we're blessed with if it wasn't for Bart and all his various colleagues. don't forget to thank those who matter most :)

2 weeks of amazingness :) that's all i have to say :) nothing in this whole world makes me happier than Bart. i love him more than anything and i can't wait until he's home for good.

well, my friends, it is definitely true that everything happens for a reason. and right now, that reason would be to give me a wonderful opportunity for a great future and a great career in commercial real estate :) as of Thursday, October 26, 2006, i am no longer in the job market :) i am no longer a statistic of illinois unemployment :) on November 13, 2006, or possibly a few days after that, i will start employment with US Equities Realty. i will work as a property assistant at 69 W. Washington, the Cook County building, downtown Chicago. i am more excited than i can even express here on my little blog!!! the timing couldn't have been more perfect, the job certainly couldn't be any more perfect, the manager is beyond belief amazing...everything has definitely worked out!! i'm so very happy and definitely excited to start this job. it's going to be awesome experience and definitely will afford me a lot of opportunity for the future. on top of that, the company is awesome, so i know i will be happy and satisfied in my job. the pay and benefits are great too, so that's just icing on the cake. and then the sprinkles on top (if you know me you know i love sprinkles and they are the best part of anything) are that i get to spend the entire 2 weeks of Bart's leave with him :) i will start after he leaves again in november. perfect!!!! utterly perfect :) and now i am a real Chicagoan...i'll be taking the metra to work and power walking from union station to my building :) love it!!!!

finally i feel relieved and excited and in a normal place again!!! now i'm just waiting waiting waiting, as usual, for my baby :) less than 3 days now though, finally!!! i was disappointed last night to learn that there would be an extra day tacked onto the already brutal wait right now, but hey, after 8 months, it's just another day :) my Soldier will be home in a few days and it will be AMAZING!!!! i'm ecstatic now that he is out of harm's way, safe and sound, on his way home. in fact, he should be out of afghanistan by now, and that's the best news in 8 months! i should hear from him again tonight with an exact time for his arrival, and that will send me soaring no doubt :)

things are good. things are really good right now :) i feel like myself again!

ok things going on right now:

1.) My old roommates and I are being sued. SWEET!!!
2.) I'll hear tomorrow from Hostmark whether I get to come in for a last interview, kind of a trial run with a short analysis. Wish me luck!
3.) I should hear this week from CTMT whether I get a 2nd interview. Wish me luck again!
4.) I pick up my black wool winter coat from the dry cleaner on Tuesday. Yesssss!!! I love that coat!!! (I don't really love that getting it cleaned means it's winter...)
5.) I've got a massive list of cleaning and laundry type things to do this week to keep me busy, along with working out and stocking the house with homecoming goodies :)
6.) I still haven't heard from Bart. It's been about 2 weeks. I'm worried and getting paranoid, but trying to stick with the Army wife/gf mantra: no news is good news. No news is good news. No news is good news!
7.) The pumpkin that I carved this fall is quite disgusting and all rotted and moldy from sitting outside on my porch. I guess it still looks cute from far away...
8.) My baby will be home in a week!
9.) My sexy boyfriend will be home in a week!
10.) MY SOLDIER WILL BE HOME IN A WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I am excited. And that is all. Pretty much nothing else in this world exists to me for the next 3 weeks other than Bart being home. Thank you and goodnight :)

well, my friends, i continue to be the happiest and luckiest girl in the entire world because my boyfriend is amazing :D he's incredible. sometimes i still can't believe that i somehow got him!! we spent pretty much the past 24 hours talking and wow, that was really something i needed. i was missing him and then i missed a call from him and then some bad stuff happened and i was worried about him, plus leave is coming up...it was sooooooooooooo good to wake up to the rooster alert :) turns out we both really needed each other, so it was perfect timing for spending a day talking. and it took up almost 2 days on this crazy countdown to leave!!! that's exciting :) i know i'll hear from him again this week, probably next week, and then while he's on his way home, so hopefully the next couple of weeks go by quickly. at some point, i'm sure the days and hours will start to creep, but they're still flowing at normal speed so far, and i'm very thankful for that!!! i can't even explain how excited i am to see Bart in less than 3 weeks. there are no words. i mean seriously, the guy made dinner reservations for us at an amazing restaurant in chicago from freakin afghanistan!!!!! how can i not be excited!!!???? it just doesn't get any better than this!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

well, i guess a job would be the one thing that would make things even better, like icing and whipped cream and ice cream on top of a nice piece of birthday cake. i had another interview this morning and it went well. i haven't heard from hostmark again about coming in for an interview, and i'm super nervous about it. very very nervous. the guy i talked to is a VP of the company and he spent most of last week out of town, so i understand if the new hire isn't his first priority early in the week, getting things back to normal and whatnot, but that just doesn't make me any less nervous. what if they never call back? what if they hired someone already? what if the CEO's nephew just decided he wanted to work there and they're not going to bother with anyone new anymore?? a million things are running through my head, but i'm trying to stay positive. i'm just more nervous now because i turned down an offer today to wait for one of these two things i have going now. i obviously really want the hostmark job, and the one i interviewed for today would be great as well. i'm just nervous because their processes are kind of strung out right now, and we all know i like knowing things rather than uncertainty, especially in this situation. the lady i interviewed with today was actually doing the interview for another manager who is out of town for 2 weeks, but wanted to have me come in right away and talk to her. so i guess he gets back on like the 20th or something, they will talk and look at my weird little test scores, then if she says good things about me and he decides that's good, i'll go in and interview with him too. on one hand, it's good because the process will take a while and i won't have to worry about starting before Bart's leave, or during it. on the other hand, it just drags it all out and makes me scared that i won't get either of these jobs and i turned down the offer that i had and then i'll be screwed. it's a vicious cycle :) just keep wishing me luck, everyone!

other than that, nothing is new. i'm just happy happy happy about my baby and happy happy happy that he'll be home in a couple weeks!!!!

so wow, talk about a whirlwind couple of weeks!!! i was so terrified of everything that was ahead of me when i left Centex, and now i'm excited. i was very scared that i would be sitting around worried out of my mind for 12 weeks job searching. well, not the case at all. in less than a month, i've secured 6 interviews, probably 3 of which i'm really interested in. i have already gotten 2 offers, and another one looks very very promising. i never thought that things would be so positive so soon!!! it's really encouraging :) i guess i underestimated my talent a little bit, but i'm still not overconfident about anything. confident, yes, cocky, no. overall, things are really looking up and i think they will turn around very soon!

so just as an update, i had an interview for a meeting planning position last friday and i just got the offer today. it would be ok. the pay is alright, not as low as the last one, so i would be ok with it, plus there is opportunity for overtime and for travel and bonuses. the downfall is that the commute would probably be about an hour and a half every day and that is very long, especially in traffic. it's almost maddening. so i have to evaluate this offer very carefully while i continue the process with the next interview that i have this week. i had a phone interview for the job that i really want with Hostmark Hospitality yesterday and it went really really well. the guy i talked to had nothing but very good things to say, just from talking for about 20 minutes on the phone. he said he thought i would be a great fit for the position and that he wanted me to come in right away to meet in person. i'm pretty stoked because the job is awesome and it will be excellent experience for me, combining my hospitality education with my passion for real estate. plus it pays well and it's much closer to my house, less than an hour commute. so i'm really waiting to see how that goes and hoping that i get that offer soon!!! YAY!!! on top of all of that, i got another call for an interview today!! it's with a commercial real estate services firm as a coordinator for their property department. i think it would be another awesome opportunity, so i'm excited about this opportunity too. i didn't think i would get a call for it, but i did, so hey, it's good news!!! i'm in a little bit of a waiting game now for these next two jobs, but i'm sure within a week or so, i'll have answers. it's just so cool because i actually have options to choose from, and they are very good options! it is definitely the best possible situation. wish me luck everyone :)

so other than the job search and interview situation, not a whole lot else is going on. my mommy just left after visiting me for 5 days, and that was really fun. we hung out, did some shopping, watched some movies, worked out, made yummy food, and went to a pumpkin farm :) that was a total blast!!! actually, i want to go again :) i'm glad she was here for a while because i needed the company and something to pass some time. it was nice to have someone else in the apartment with me. if anyone else wants to come visit, feel free :) just give me a call!!

so now pretty much i am just playing the waiting game until the end of the month when my baby comes home :) i am so insanely excited i feel like i might piss my pants when i think about it. haha. not really, but i'm very very every excited!!!! i still cannot believe that it's less than a month until Bart will be home, actually closer to 3 weeks. it still doesn't seem real that he'll be here, in person, in the flesh, a real man!!! it's weird when you don't see someone for so long, they take on more of an idea quality, and to have them be tangible again is so amazing. it's difficult to explain, but what it boils down to is i can't wait to just wrap my arms around Bart's neck and hug him and kiss him until he can't even breathe anymore!!!! it will be so amazing to spend two weeks with him!!! i just can't wait!!! somehow i have to get through the next 3 weeks without going out of my mind!!! haha. everyone do something to keep me distracted :)

last but not least, i got my cat a new collar and it has a bell on it. it's pretty funny. he really doesn't like it and he tries to bite it and stuff, which is hilarious because obviously it's around his neck and that's just awkward. haha. poor little guy :) he's freakin adorable though and i love him!!! pets are sweet :) can't wait to get a puppy when Bart gets home!!!

so i was just reading through some of my previous entries in this crazy little blog, and i was cracking up!!! possibly the best entry ever: IAPPY NEW YEA!!! hahahahaaa i had forgotten all about stupid Bill. hahaha. ridiculous :) i had forgotten about a lot of stuff from not that long ago, and it's just kind of fun to read through it all and remember the small stuff.

the other side of that is that i read through the past couple months and all i had written about was how much i loved Centex. to me, that is like the saddest thing in the whole world. i really wanted to and thought i would retire from that job. i did love it, and obviously it showed. *sigh* life goes on though. it's just kind of strange, yet cool, to see it all represented here in my blog forever.

another thing i noticed is that i used to get way more comments on my blog. how sad, no one reads it anymore :( but just in case, the comments are enabled, even on my fancy new pretty blog skin :) sometimes the comments are the funniest part of everything!

anyway, nothing too exciting going on, so this will be short. i miss my Soldier and i'm trying to espn him to call me tonight. hopefully that works...

i don't really think i have anything specific to write today, but for some reason, i felt like i wanted to post an update.

i've been very bored lately. i do NOT like being home. trust me, i was built to work. my brain just races and time just slows to almost a stop when i am forced to sit home by myself. i hate it. so i spend at least 4 or 5, if not more, hours on the computer a day, searching, probing, attacking the internet for possibilities. so far, it's been ok for me. in just 2 weeks, i've gotten 2 interviews. not much other than that, but i've slacked off a little bit this week, and next week i'll be trying a new avenue, so hopefully i'll get some more stuff set up that way.

anyway, the interview i had this week went really well, almost too well in fact, because i found myself in a position of being the top candidate for a job that would make me take over a $10,000 pay cut. yeah, no joke, that's big. it's a cool job, involves travel to the tropics, fun stuff, busy, etc etc etc, but i couldn't come to terms with taking that big of a pay cut. money is certainly not the only thing i'm going to take a job for, i am very very big on job satisfaction. however, i know what i'm worth, and it's not upper $20s, especially after i was making over $40k with bonus potential in my last job. i just couldn't in all good conscience take that job and live with myself. in addition to that, it was a very stressful week because the lady needed the person hired to start on monday. so i had to go over every pro and every con in a very short period of time, run it by everyone meaningful i knew, and try to come up with a yes or no for myself. as i leaned more toward no, i went into my second interview being very very honest with this woman. as such, i think she made the offer to the other person, and i'm fine with it because it takes the stress off of me having to turn down an offer. overall, the whole thing gave me just a pinch more confidence that after only 2 weeks, i could pretty much get an offer. i'm going to be ok.

the next interview i have is october 2 for a hospitality management group. not like traditional managers, like finance managers, deal managers, etc. it's a position for a business development analyst, which is basically the exact same position that i got an offer for back in the day earlier this year from Rockbridge Capital down in columbus, OH. it's better because this company is a bigger company, plus it's local, and i know that there are MSU SHB alums there, which kind of gives me a little advantage. it's stressful because obviously i turned down this last job to kind of do myself and my search a little more justice, but nothing is for sure. i'm pretty confident that since i got an offer for the same type of job before, i have a good chance at this one, but every person is different and they will have a different opinion of me. so i'm a little scared, but i'm excited for the interview and i'm hoping that things go well. the bonus that really does make me want it is that it's in the same field as my main interest, real estate development, plus the financial analyst background would be so perfect for such a broad array of things if i want to make a career change in the future. and it also doesn't hurt that the position starts at $45k, which is actually more than i was making before. so everybody pray for me and this job, because i want it!

i'm not quite nervous yet because it has only been a couple weeks and the average job search takes 12.5 weeks. however, i'm a total worry wart and this is tough and crazy and it's a cruel world out there!!! i'm pretty terrified that i won't get this job and then i'll have no other interviews and nothing good set up and it'll be Christmas and i won't have anything. and then i'll either be really sorry i didn't take this first job, or i'll end up taking something stupid and low paying as a filler job just to make money and keep up the search in the meantime. i hope that doesn't happen, people tell me that it won't and that i'm intelligent and bright and talented and i'll get something great soon. i sure hope they're right because i don't know what i will do if things don't work out soon.

the major blessing in disguise in this whole episode is that i'll probably get to spend the entire 2 weeks of Bart's leave with him :D *BIG SMILE* i'm so incredibly excited i think i'm going to piss my pants about every 5 minutes!!!!! after 7 fucking months of agony being away from the man i love, we'll finally get to see each other again!!!! I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!! it's going to be AMAZING and it'll just be so much more amazing if i can spend all of the time with him and not have to work. it's looking that way, even if i do get this next job. since the interview isn't until the 2nd, that means they probably have a few days that week, then they'll call for 2nd interviews the next week, maybe take some time to decide, then make offers, then negotiate. so, i have basically decided that WHEN i get that offer, my main negotiation will be to start in november, not right away. if they are able to wait for a person to fill this position for a few weeks, they're probably able to wait a few more weeks. i've got it all worked out :) and the BEST thing that i'm looking forward to the most about Bart being home is picking him up at the airport. i can't even explain how exciting that is to me!!!! i can't wait to see him walk out and to just throw my arms around his neck and drop everything and hug him and kiss him...it might just be the happiest moment of my life so far!!!!! and i get to be the very first person he sees. that's exciting too :) i still can't believe it's only a month away!!!! after all this damn time, it's only a month away!!! it almost doesn't seem real. but, it is real. it is very real :)

and speaking of it being real, so is my jiggly ass and thighs. which means it's time to go and work out. i got a new workout dvd and new weights and a stability ball, and WOW, it's definitely a workout!!!! if i do this freakin crazy thing every day for the next month, i'll look like heidi klum by the time Bart gets home!!!! errrr...probably not, but at least i'll be back to normal, not chubby, me :)

last but not least, fuck notre dame, you suck balls, GO STATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

something happened this week that flipped my world upside down. i wasn't expecting it, and i'm still a little bit in shock. it's one of those life experiences that you take and learn from and become a better person because of. eventually, anyway. but for right now, i can't get past the fact that i'm sad and upset over the loss of something i've wanted so badly for a year now. something i have loved so dearly has been very abruptly taken away from me. it's disappointing, very disappointing, but i have to move on. i have to pick up the pieces and be strong and move on. and trust me, i'm a pro at that. but it's just more difficult this time because it's serious. the decisions i make over the next few weeks or maybe a couple months will not only affect me personally, but they will affect Bart too. and it's awfully hard to make big decisions without being able to discuss them with your other half! so things are tough, but i'll get through them. if i'm not being completely open about this, which i know is very strange for me because generally i'm extremely open with everything about my life, i'm sorry. it's too soon and too difficult for me to talk about right now. i don't want fake sympathy from people who say they understand. i don't want any of that. when i'm ready, and when things turn around, i'll let it all out and all the people closest to me will be the first to know. just bear with me if i'm a little weird for the next few weeks.

so just as a little word of advice, don't get complacent in your life. be on your guard and be prepared for the biggest shock of your life to happen tomorrow. don't take anything for granted, and don't think it can't happen to you, no matter how much you don't deserve it. but in the end, i guess life wouldn't be as exciting without its disappointments and challenges.

i'm starting to realize that i can finally get excited about Bart coming home soon. in a little more than a month, he'll be home and in my arms. and in my bed :) i just looked at the calendar today and really realized that in 2 days it will be september, which means it's only one month until october, which is the month he's coming home. after so long, i almost can't believe it!!! it's been so far out of reach for so long, it hardly feels real that i can start to count down in weeks and not months!!! no exact dates yet, so i can't start an actual countdown, but i'm guessing somewhere in the neighborhood of 6 weeks. holy crap!!! i'm so ecstatic out of my mind, i don't even know what to do with myself!!! i can't wait to see my baby! it's going to be so amazing!! i can't help but smile just thinking about it :)

well, if i knew i was the only person reading this, i would probably just keep babbling on about how much i love and miss Bart. but i'll spare the couple of you who check this sometimes from that monotony, because if you know me at all, you already have to hear me talk about it enough! haha. what can i say? i love my man!!! he's my world :) <-- see! there i go again!!! i'm still on a little high from talking to him on the phone a couple nights ago :) that was awesome.

anyway, i'm coming up on my 3 month anniversary at Centex. i still love every day at work and i'm still learning a ton and really enjoying myself and my job. it's a great thing! i'm definitely very lucky to be where i'm at, especially given the current market. i chose the right company to be with, that's for sure. my training is going really well. texas was super fun, just super fucking hot and very...texas. if anyone says y'all to me ever again, i might slap them. but the other "bootcampers," as we are called, are all great. we got to know each other over the course of 2 weeks and now we all have friends cross country :) i think that's a definite perk of the program. highlights for me are that i can now go visit denver or sarasota at any time and have a place to stay and some fun MI boys to party with. built in little minivacations for me and Bart :) anyway, i am now spending time back at home preparing for the next leg of my training, which is in minneapolis in september. it's been a lot of work, and a lot of work in front of the computer, which i am not a fan of. i don't like sitting at a desk, and that's the main reason i chose to become a field manager, key word FIELD!!! ha. well, only a couple more weeks of online training type of stuff and i'm back in the field even more than before. i'm looking forward to that :) i'm really looking forward to being able to use all of the things i'm learning in this training in my job in my home division. i think it'll make me a top field manager. just give me about a year and then ask me where i'm at :)

on another note, i'm very excited to see my friends this weekend for charlie's wedding!!! it's going to be so much fun!!! i can't wait :) i'm mostly excited to wear my new dress though, it's one of the best parts of the whole weekend! i love it! and i'm also very excited to see Bart's dad and that side of the family on sunday and monday. that might actually even be more exciting than the wedding. i love Bart's dad. he's so much fun to spend time with. i really miss him! i've been seeing Bart's mom and that family a lot, and i feel like i'm not evening out my time. it'll definitely be good to get up to port huron. i miss Ciara too. that girl is such a doll. i'm excited to spend some time with her too. and overall, i'm excited that i don't have to drive for the whole weekend!!!!!!! sucks to be Joshy!

well, i'm tired. i've been a little under the weather the past few days and i need to get some rest. gotta make sure i'm all set to get crazy this weekend :) hope you all enjoyed that neat little update on the life of Kourtney!

i'm FINALLY home from Texas and all i can say is that i have NEVER been so happy to see rain before in all my life!!!! YAY MIDWEST!!!!! :)

Ellen: I feel like I'm not smoking enough...But I feel really high...
Mom: Yeah, me too.
Ellen: So which is right?

Well, if that's not the biggest stoner comment in the entire world, I challenge you to come up with a better one! :)

i guess i'll do a little better job of updating this little thing. it seems that people do actually read it, though they rudely decide not to comment at all :) i'm not sure i have too much to say, but i just felt like babbling a little bit.

the fishing trip was a total blast. it was a beautiful day to be off work and out on the lake. we started the day chillin in a park by the harbor and then took off on the boats about noon. i ended up with my area manager, Steve, my recruiter, Jim, and a couple other field managers. it was really fun. we told a lot of jokes and talked philosophy a little bit and enjoyed the sun and some sandwiches. we each caught a fish and i caught the biggest one on our boat!!! it was a hefty little salmon :) and now he's all hacked up in my freezer, ready for me to eat!!! i was pretty excited i ended up with so much fish because i love it so much. so after we got back around 5 off the water, everyone else was sufficiently drunk and we watched the swim in the weeds and act like wieners for a while. then a few of us went to dinner at Joe's Crab Shack. that place is freakin awesome!!! i will definitely be frequenting that restaurant very often because i love seafood so much and that's pretty much all they have!!! i want to try everything on the menu!!! so after a nice dinner, Steve took me home and i put aloe on my sunburned back, which is quite a production when you live alone, and went to bed. a whole day in the sun like that wipes you out!!! what a great day though. i'm so lucky to work for Centex!!!

for the rest of the weekend i pretty much stayed inside my air conditioned apartment and watched tv or slept. i took a lot of naps this weekend to catch up on sleep and played with Brewer and just did nothing. i definitely needed that weekend though because the next couple of months are going to be crazy busy. right now i'm preparing for my big trip to dallas on sunday for two weeks, and i'm starting to get nervous that i'm going to forget stuff or miss a flight or whatever. i'm sure everything will be fine, but all of a sudden it has snuck up on me really quickly and i'm freaking out that i won't have time to get everything in order by friday. i'm going home to see my parents this weekend, and i'll be leaving on sunday right after driving all the way back to illinois, so i have to make sure that everything's all packed up and ready to go for both trips and everything. it's just one of those things that's like i haven't done it before and i'm not exactly sure what i need, but i know i need to be on top of my shit or i'm going to be lost, so of course i'm worried. see? it even makes me babble in run on sentences!!! oh well, i'm sure everything will be fine. i think i'm just going to start making piles and packing tomorrow. i'll start lists too. i live by lists. that will help :) i'm sure after the trip to dallas i'll feel a lot better about the ones to minneapolis and vegas too. this one is just longer, so i need to make sure that i have anything i could possibly need.

man, i'll be so lonely!!! i'm used to having Brewer and constant internet. i'm not sure if my hotel has internet access, but i'm sure hoping that it does. if it doesn't, will you people promise to give me a call once in a while over the next 2 weeks so i don't die of loneliness and boredom??? thank you :) oh, and also...does anyone want to cat sit for a week in september or october? i don't know what i'm going to do with my kittypants yet... :( and i sure don't want to be without him, but he can't come along and he can't stay home alone.

and with that i think i'm going to sign off for tonight. maybe i'll go play with Brewer a little bit. i still have to write Bart for today. maybe if i'm lucky i'll hear from him actually. it's coming up on that time...but i probably shouldn't get my hopes up too much. you never know with the whole war thing going on. i miss him :( oh, and also, i hate the post office because they suck balls at delivering mail.

thank you, and good night.

well, the past couple weeks have been a whirlwind, like usual. it seems to be the pattern of my life for the past couple of months. but i'm ok with that as long as it keeps the time passing quickly!

first of all, i heard from my soldier 4 times last week!!! that's right, count em, FOUR TIMES!!!! once online and 3 times on the phone!!! i nearly peed myself, but i thought that might be a little inappropriate, so i just used the toilet instead. but i was just about that excited!!!! i hadn't heard Bart's voice in 2 months and i cannot explain how horrible that really is. for anyone who has a significant other in their life, just realistically try to imagine it. don't be funny about it like haha i would be happy to not hear from them! trust me, no you wouldn't. not if you love them for real. it was horrible. i mean, we talked online, but it's just not the same. i got to actually hear him say, "i love you, baby," and i got to say it to him. that was the most amazing thing in the whole wide world for me :) luckily it should be happening a little more frequently now, so that will be just great. i'm not going to go into great detail about what we talked about or anything, but i'll just say that we're still planning on moving in together, no one will be able to contact us for about the first month he is home, everyone is welcome to visit once we buy our house, and we're going to adopt a puppy from a shelter :) and also, he's alright but it's not so good over there. so please keep Bart and all of his guys in your thoughs and prayers. thanks :)

next on the agenda is my boss' pool party at his house. wow, what a freakin good time!!! first of all, Steve is so cool and so much fun, such a great boss! so he was bound to throw a great party!! his house is amazingggg too. i couldn't even believe it. he actually drew it when he was in high school and got to build his dream home himself, so that was really cool. his pool is just awesome. it was so nice and warm and pretty you just never wanted to get out!!! so basically, we stayed out there all night!!! then we karaoked :) he has an awesome karaoke setup in his game room in the loft and we all sang and sang and sang our drunk asses off for the rest of the night!!! it was so much fun!!! the people i work with are just so much fun because we can all have a blast at work, but boy we can take it to the limit when we're off work!!! this party was really fun too because all of the wives and girlfriends were there so i got to hang out with girls :) Steve's wife is so funny and really nice and i just adore Eli's girlfriend, Emily. she's such a total sweetheart and a goofball! she's a blast to hang out with. and of course Mike's wife Beth is great too. these Centex people are just a wonderful bunch!!! i'm very thankful for where i'm at and who i get to see on a daily basis :)

at work i'm getting hot and heavy into my pre-prep for my training starting in a couple of weeks. i have a whole bunch of assignments and tests and things to do before i even go to the training in dallas. i have a lot of actual book studying to do, in addition to spending time with our contractors on the job seeing what they do. it's a lot to do, but i'm totally up for it. i'm already learning a lot and i can't wait to learn even more!!! i'm like a little sponge!!!! i can't believe i only have one week left before i go to dallas for 2 weeks. that is just craziness!!! before i know it, august will be all gone and there will only be one month until Bart comes home!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

last but not least by any means, is the Sox game yesterday. wow. i really don't even have a good enough adjective to describe that ridiculousness!!! our carpenter contractor took us to the White Sox game yesterday at 1, so not only did we miss work from like 1030 until the end of the day, but we spent the entire afternoon and night getting schnockered. the game was fine, it was baseball, it was boring. and also, the sox lost. who cares about that part??? the after game tailgating was the better part, and by that time, whoa, everyone was waaaaaasted!!! then we went to dinner at this completely amazing restaurant downtown. that was possbily the funniest part of the entire day because we were all a) trashed, b) in shorts and tennis shoes and shit like that when everyone else in the restaurant was literally in a suit c) loud and totally obnoxious d) swearing up a storm and talking about dirty things...the list goes on. the food was delicious though, possibly because it was incredibly expensive. definitely made it really cool that we were there for free! it was a fundinner though, and apparently, it was even my birthday!! my drunkass friends decided that it should be, so i got some free tiramisu and the entire restaurant stared at us while the boys sang happy birthday at the top of their lungs. haha. like i said, ridiculousness!! and then, we all had to endure the maniacal driving skills of Charlie on the way home. wonderful. i think i was more scared for poor Patrick, who decided that it would be a good idea to lay down in the bed of the truck the entire way home from downtown all the way out to Aurora!!!! yeah, he was much too wasted to even feel a thing. haha. i actually decided to stop drinking after one weak drink at dinner, so i had a good 3 hours without drinking to sober up before any driving or anything, so i was good. but wow, those boys never cease to amaze me with how much they can party! although they were all hurtin pretttttyyyy bad today at work.

and we're gonna do it all again tomorrow!!! ilovemyjobilovemyjobilovemyjob... but really, all i care about for tomorrow is that i catch a nice big fish so i can take it home and eat it!!! i don't think i'll really be in the mood to drink a whole lot since it'll be almost 100 degrees outside and i'll be on a boat on lake michigan. i'm not exactly sure if that will agree with my tummy. so i'll probably have a couple and mostly hold off and drink agua. sometimes it's more fun to observe the drunkies :)

well, i do believe that catches up the latest events in the life of Kourtney. i know, it's not really that exciting, but parts are funny at least :) and i'm content with everything. well, with the exception, of course, of Bart being gone. i want him so bad i can hardly stand it! i just have to be patient. what's to come is more than worth the wait :)

again, it's been too long since i have updated. oh well. sorry to any loyal readers out there. let's see, lots of things have been going on since i last wrote.

i spent 4th of july up at some family friends' house. it was pretty fun. just my mom, ellen, steve, peggy, and my uncle bill. and of course peanut the most ridiculous dog ever. they actually had to give her a zanax to drug her to calm her down because she barks like a fucking crazeball when fireworks go off. but that was definitely fun. and i got about a day and a half off between the actual 4th off and no one working on the 3rd, so that was sweet.

then the next weekend i got to talk to my baby for almost a whole day :D i just about died!!! it was one of those super surreal things where i thought i was in a dream. i had gone to bed about midnight on friday night, and when the aim alert went off i thought i was still sleeping!! needless to say, i totally flipped out, sprang out of bed and onto the computer, and spent the entire night and next day talking to him on and off :) it was totally amazing!!!! and it's really amazing what it does for us both. we miss each other so much and when we finally get to talk for a while, it just makes everything in the world right again, like my heart starts beating again. so yeah, good news and bad news from him, but in general, all is well. it sounds like i'll be hearing from him on a much more regular basis and that's the best thing in the world :) oh and also, there was a mention of engagement rings :D haha.

i went to Dana's wedding this weekend and it was a freakin blast. Dana is the daughter of one of my mom's really good friends who she actually grew up with and went to high school with and still hangs out with. through him and all of the other neighborhood kids, i know all of these crazy people who are pretty much my family and very close family friends, so it's always a blast at get togethers like weddings and camping and stuff. the ceremony was very sweet and cute and simple and also short, which was good because it was about 95 outside in the beating down sun. and the reception was ridiculously fun. i got wasted and danced the night away haha. i definitely drank my fair share of quality Wisconsin beer and boogied the night away :) the only negative part of the night was that my ex, Nick, was a total fucking freak weirdo douchebag to me the whole night, and that just annoyed and upset me. we'll see each other forever at shit like this, so i wanted to be able to be friends with him, but i just don't think that will be able to happen now. not sure if it was the new girlfriend or him, but whatever, either way, it was disappointing. however, the cake was not disappointing, and the baked potato skin thingies were really good!!!! man it was fun :) and of course i got to be the little girly girl who gets all happy about the bride and groom and their day and has all the wishful thoughts about her own wedding day someday :) i can't wait! plus i ended up crashing at my uncle bill's house and that was really fun. i don't get to see him too much, so it was cool to spend some time with him and his fiancee.

so work still kicks ass! i just got my own building today and that's frickin sweet. basically i am now in total control of the construction of 4 townhomes. i control the schedule, the inspections, the trades, whether they get paid or not, contacting the homeowners, etc etc etc. it's awesome. i now have actual responsibility, with which comes some kick ass potential bonuses! as soon as the homes close i get the bonuses for all four homes. yay!!! and i also found out that i get to go on a kick ass training program. i was the only person chosen from the entire illinois division to go to "field manager boot camp." i'm so excited!!! i'll spend the second two weeks of august in dallas, tx, training. i'll have classroom training and field training. then i'll come back for a couple weeks and spend the second week of september doing the same thing in minneapolis, mn, then i'll come back again for a couple weeks. then to top it all off i will spend the last week of training and then graduate from the program the first week of october in LAS VEGAS, NV!!!!!! all expenses paid for all of the traveling by Centex Homes!!! i can't wait!!!! i still can't believe they chose me, but it definitely means that they see a lot of potential for a good field manager and they definitely want to keep me around. and with how the market is down right now, it's very good to know that i have absolute job security. the best part about the whole program is that it will take up the next 3 months until Bart gets home on leave :D it will definitely help the time go faster and that is a big selling point...not to mention how i will be automatically promoted and get a raise when i'm done with the training :)

well, i think that just about covers the past couple of weeks. things are definitely good for me. i'm a lucky lady :) now if i could have a fast forward button...

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well, i suppose it's time to update again. sorry i suck, but it looks like no one has been paying attention anyway :)

i'm on my second week of work at Centex Homes and i'm pretty much obsessed with it :) i love every minute!!!! seriously, i have the best job in the whole world. i am one of those incredibly lucky people who have a job that is totally fun, they totally love, they are totally passionate about, and they can't wait to get up to go to work in the morning!! and i am really not a morning person!!! but i do love this and when the weekend came around last week i was like shit, already?? but i wanna come back tomorrow!!!! i know it sounds super lame, but it's true!!! i'm so happy!!! the job is good, i know i will really like it when i am fully trained. eventually once i learn everything that i will be doing like the back of my hand, i will have a ton of autonomy and independence in my job, which is really cool. not many jobs allow for that. basically the homes that i have are MY homes. it's my little business and i work for myself. i'm pretty excited about that :) and also, the people i work with are amazing. these guys are awesome at their jobs and they are a hilariously fun and entertaining bunch. the best part is that they weren't weird with me at all being a chick in the construction trailer or anything. i pretty much laid down the law that there are no lines with me, i probably swear more than they do, i won't ever get offended, and the only thing that will piss me off is if they start making small penis jokes. they've already invited me out to the bar and stuff like that, so i've made some friends and things are great :)

let's see, now that work has started i'm just busy and tired. every day after work i feel like i'm going to die. not because it's hard labor or anything, but because i'm not on a good sleep schedule yet. i can't fall asleep before like 12 or 1 and i get up at like 6, so i need to fix that. i'm sure after this week or pretty soon my body clock will reset itself to my new schedule. hopefully at least. in the meantime, thank goodness for coffee.

other than work, i'm still kind of exploring the area and whatnot. i took a trip downtown on the train for the Memorial Day parade and that was awesome. it was a beautiful day and i love Chicago. i had a fun time doing that. friday night i went out with a friend from work and his wife to Payton's Roundhouse in downtown Aurora to see his cousin's band play. they were freaking sweet. i would definitely see them again. sometimes local bands are just ok or kind of lame, but they were actually pretty good. and this restaurant was fucking sweet. it's a big circular building and in the middle is a big courtyard with a beer garden and a couple bars and fireplaces and stuff. it was sweet. and of course i've been doing some shopping for work clothes. luckily i have only had to buy khakis and new shoes and Centex provides the shirts. what a kick ass work uniform :)

and as usual, i miss Bart like i can't even explain. i hate him being gone and i wish he could come home right this minute. i also hate the situation we are in right now of not being able to communicate AT ALL for a very long time. fucking Army. ugh. i think about him all the time and i can't wait for leave and for the day he comes home for good. i've already got closet and furniture space all planned out :) haha.

alright, time for me to do some training and get to bed early. division meeting tomorrow up in hoffman estates. boooooo that's like an hour drive for me and i have to be there at 730am. the good news is that it will take up more than half the work day, i get free breakfast, and we probably won't do much of anything after we get back :) again, I LOVE CENTEX HOMES!!!!

i love Chicago.

i hate Afghanistan.

i miss Bart. (a lot.)

it's fucking hot outside.

the rest, for now, is just details.

well, i'm all moved into my new place in Aurora. i love it! i found a great apartment that i know i will love as long as i'm here :) my parents came to move me last weekend and it actually went pretty smoothly. we got everything out of my EL apartment in a couple hours, made it to Aurora in about 4.5 hours, unloaded everything in about an hour or 2, and then we were done. i can't believe we got that all done in one day just the three of us...we should start our own family moving company, because we are pros!!! the next day we did an assload of shopping. a freaking assload. went to IKEA and i got all new furniture, like everything. new desk, tv stand, dresser, dresser mirror, bookcase. went to this great resale shop in downtown Aurora and got the most awesome couch ever! it's beautiful :) then Mom and i went to like target and meijer and bed, bath, and beyond to get some other shit like decorations and cleaning products and stuff like that. i also got a new bed set and bathroom set that are soooooo pretty! we spent 13 hours on saturday assembling furniture. i can't believe we got that all done either! it was a little bit of a hassle, but now it's done. and everything looks wonderful!!!! i have a whole white theme going on. check out my picture page for photos of the progression. now it's done except for hanging some pictures on the wall, which i will probably take my time with to make sure they are where i want them. i don't want too many mistake holes in the walls! so after my parents left, i continued to organize and settle and whatnot. i've been shopping and stuff the past 3 days to get other little things that i want or need. like i got this amazing bed canopy that makes my bed look like it should be in cinderella's castle!! i love it! and i got some frames and just some other crap. i also went grocery shopping and got VEGETABLES for the first time in probably a year!!!! that is so exciting!!!! i love vegetables :) and it's even more exciting because i can grill them on my little grill outside!! how cool!!! i really am a big girl now :) hahaha...

so now i sit and wait for another week and a half until i start work at Centex on June 5. i'm excited. i am definitely enjoying my little vacation, but i'm very excited to start my career!!!! i'm nervous and scared and anxious and so many other things all at once. but i know that everything will be alright when i do start and i'll be just fine :) they'll teach me everything i need to know, so i shouldn't worry.

at least my waiting time has been happy because of Bart!!! what a surprise right? you people all knew it was coming...i got to talk to him online and on the phone for like 5 days in a row last week!!!! it was possibly the most amazing 5 days ever in the past 3 months. it even rivaled graduation weekend :) and then yesterday i got 3 letters from him!!!! and boy were they awesome letters. this man is incredible. i really am the luckiest girl in the whole world to have him. sometimes i can't even believe that he loves me! what we have is amazing :) there's so much to look forward to! so anyway, little taste of why i like his letters so much. the sarcastic humor gets me rollin laughing: "we just pulled a tick off the puppy that was the size of a marble, yummy." hahahahaa so matter of fact like marble sized ticks on puppies are normal...*sigh* and this is why i love my soldier :)

hmmmm. so today's agenda is pretty clear. how boring. i don't really have anymore shopping to do. i might return some stuff to meijer, drop off some clothes at goodwill, and check at linens & things for brown pillowcases and a brown dust ruffle. seriously now, what makes it so tough to find brown freakin pillowcases? i've checked at like 3 different places to no avail. oh well, internet shopping is easier anyway. but other than that, i have a feeling today will be a real vacation day of sitting on my arse on the couch in front of the tv. sweeeeeeet :) too bad all the rest of you have to work today!

i'm getting so spoiled this week!!!! jeez i thought one phone call was good, but shit 4 is just...i have no words!!! it's almost like normal life again talkin to my baby so much!! i'm going to have to say i like him where he is, even if he's bored and has nothing to do. plus he's much safer. i'll definitely sacrifice some sleep to be able to talk to him everyday online. after all, i don't do ANYTHING now, so i can nap during the day :)

i packed up my car today to take some stuff to my new apartment tomorrow. it's pretty stuffed and i still have to add the tv and dvd player and my bedding. and stuff to wear for 3 days. hmmm, it's really going to be full!! it's pretty amazing what you can fit in the pipscort if he's all packed up right! now all that's left is like 6 boxes, bed, desk, shoes, clothes, and a few other things that will probably amount to another 4 boxes or so. sooooo glad to be out of here in exactly a week!!!

but at this point, i don't even care. i just care that i can talk to my soldier all the time for a few days. it's sooooooooo amazing!!! just like him :) things are good. i am lucky. how i got so lucky, i will never ever know, but i'm not going to question it!!! i'm just going to look forward to all the even greater things that are coming up soon :)

i'm going to go buy chips for my salsa now. only like 7 more hours till i get to talk to Bart again. YAYYYY!!! and now i can have snacks :)

well, graduation is all over and it was SUPER!!!! what a GREAT weekend filled with fun, family, and friends!! the ceremonies were really awesome and i am so glad that i attended all the functions that i could. i will remember that stuff forever. anyone who doesn't walk will soon regret it, and if not soon, definitely 15 years from now. i just had such a great time immersing myself in everything Michigan State this past weekend. i'm really going to miss this place!! but i will come back as the proudest alumna that ever attended this great university!! Spartan for life baby, i bleeeeeeeeeeed green and white!!!!

and as is typical with me, i love change and new and different frontiers, so i have already been to aurora and back and found my new home!! i'll be living at fox valley villages in aurora. it's an insanely awesome complex and the apartment is just so perfect!!! it was a little on the high side, but i am such a Polish saver, i'll be able to work with my budget just fine. i fell in love with it anyway, so there was just no way i could pass it up and take anything else. plus it did end up to be the best deal out of everything i think. it's a very cute apartment, lots of storage space and closets, a really great kitchen, washer/dryer in unit, a nice big patio, great clubhouse with a state of the art gym, cyber cafe, and business center. and it's close to everything and will be easy to commute to and from. i'm very happy with my decision. it's the second time i haven't settled for something less, the first being Bart :) anyway, i'm VERY excited to move in!!! i pick up my keys monday the 15th and i'll be completely moved in there and out of here by the 21st. can't wait!!! i even already set up my internet, phone, and electric :) i'm so on top of things!!! it's going to be great. i hope that people will come visit. EVERYONE, and i do mean everyone, is certainly welcome. all you have to do is give me a call or shoot me an im and we'll set it up :) then we can go out on the CHITOWN!!! which will be awesome, of course.

the only bad thing about my little trip was that i locked my keys in my car and had to pay $75 for about 30 seconds worth of work to get it open. i guess that's the price i pay for being a total idiot. so that was shitty. and thennnnnn on my way home, literally 20 minutes from east lansing, a GIANT rock hit my windshield and cracked it. now, my only problem with this is that i have driven 85000 miles over the past 7 years and never had a cracked windshield. i have only locked my keys in my car one other time. in all those years, these things haven't happened and in a span of 24 hours they both happened. lucky me!!!! i have such awesome streaks of super duper luck like that!!! so now i have to get the windshield replaced right away before i drive to chicago again and it'll probably be like a million dollars. ugh. just what i need right now!! how frustrating. i guess all the positiveness of the past week or so had to stop somewhere and life had to give me a little reality check. thanks, life, i totally appreciate it!

but actually, it was all combined with a lot of happiness anyway. i graduated, got a great apartment, start a great job in a few weeks, AND Bart called on my way home yesterday :D BEST thing EVER of the whole week!!!!! i didn't think i was going to hear from him for another week or so, so it was an awesome surprise. this man is nothing short of amazing, and he is one thing that i am always lucky to have and my luck has never run out with him yet. and the funny thing is, no matter what other crazy shit happens to me, i know the luck never will run out with him. even half a world away, he manages to know when i'm missing him the most and the phone rings. somebody try to tell me we aren't meant to be. i dare ya!! anyway, he's good, which is always nice to hear. and it's good to know he's getting all my letters and packages too. he's probably the most spoiled soldier over there the way i send stuff. the best part of that is that he can't yell at me for spending so much money on him because he can't stop me!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!! love it! :) anyway, i miss him terribly, but being able to talk to him pretty frequently helps. and his letters make me overjoyed!! it was a double whammy yesterday because i got a call and a little Lauzon, Bart letter in the mail :) perfect! if this keeps up, the rest of the year will fly by. and shit, we only have to wait another 4 months or so for leave, so that's even better!! deployment sure does suck, but it's what's waiting when he gets home that makes it all worthwhile.

well. this has certainly turned into a long entry. i'm sure everyone who reads this was just so excited to hear my little updates. by the way, who left the last comment on my April 27 entry? thanks so much, it made me smile, but i'd like to know who wrote it!! i'm pretty freakin stoked that i got so many comments on my last couple entries, so keep it up, friends!! :)

i'm off to work out, shower, and hang with the oville crew for the last time in a long time. i'm really going to miss everyone. especially Bill. i'm not really sure what i'm going to do without him actually. it's going to be pretty tough getting used to not being able to just walk over and see him or have him knock on my door and then we just talk for hours...i don't like this already!!! :( and jeez, he's going to have a hard time surviving without young Brewer! i guess that just means that road trips will be in order :)

peace out, homies.

holy crap i'm an alumna.

i don't think there is anything else to say!

i know, i know. haven't posted in a while. i've been busy, what can i say?

in a nutshell, i am now done with college except for one small exam on Monday. i've got some reading to do for it, but i also have all weekend. i'm not too worried. yeah, that's right. done with college. it's very strange. VERY strange. and kind of creepy. but also, very exciting. i'm ready for the next step of my life. i can't wait :)

found out i'm placed in yorkville, IL. a little bit west of aurora and naperville, so i'll probably be living in aurora. i think i'll be making a trip to figure out an apartment the monday right after graduation. anyone want to come with??? i'd love company!

ummmm let's see. grades seem to be working out pretty well even though i thought they weren't going to be great this semester. yeah, i'm a pimp. i know. too bad i didn't figure out i was a pimp like 7 semesters earlier. oh well, it's all worked out well in the end.

only 10 more months till Bart comes home. i miss him so much. every single second of the day he's on my mind. he's coming home in october for leave and i can't wait!!! that's only 5 months, but hey, who's counting!!???!! he's been in touch pretty well so far, so that has helped tremendously. it makes my day/night/week/month when i do hear from him :) whether it's a letter or a phone call, i just can't stop smiling! he's amazing even half a world away. can't wait to be with him again.

don't think there's really too much other news. well, my birthday i guess. i turned 22 last week. had the bestest deuce deuce celebrations ever!!!! Rick's rocks. and the beach party was amazing. it was a really great birthday. i'm so glad it worked out that way because it'll be my last big birthday bash with all my friends in college and everything. thanks to all who made it very memorable :)

other than that, just graduation next weekend. can't wait. it'll pretty much be just me and my parents and my grandma, but that's ok. they're probably the closest people to me and it's tough for everyone else to come from wisconsin. Bart's parents were going to try to come, but they are busy too, so i understand. i'll visit them both before i leave michigan anyway, so it's ok.

that is all. and i'll try to post more often i promise. for the 3 people who actually read this :)

i suck at updating, i know. but i also think no one reads this, so it might not matter too much. maybe someone should comment once in a while...what a novel idea that is!

things are alright overall i guess. school still fucking sucks. too much to do in too little time. which is totally partially my fault for putting it off for a while. but it's also my perogative as a senior :) at least there's not too much left and it'll be over soon. then i get to start my life!!! i can't wait!!!

i miss Bart terribly...obviously. i write him every day and have gotten to talk to him 3 times on the phone so far. it's soooooo great to hear his voice!!!! it's like heaven in my ear! but now i won't hear from him again for a while, so it's back to just letters and hoping for the phone to ring sometime soon. but it's ok, we're doing ok. we might actually be doing better than ok for a deployment relationship. i'm not worried about coming out of it in great shape, that's for sure, and it's a good sign i think. less than 11 months left!! woooooo!!! haha :)

hmmm anything else new...i can't think of much. i spent last weekend at Bart's dad's house visiting. it was a really great weekend and something i definitely needed. just relaxing and family and a home to go to. i get stir crazy at school without family, so it was perfect that i could go there and hang out with everyone. this next weekend i'm going to Bart's mom's for Easter, so that should be equally as awesome. i can't wait for that either. i'm sure it'll be a good end to another rough week of crapola.

hb bar crawl was yesterday. it was alright. i'm glad Carolyn and Kristen were nice enough to walk home with me. otherwise i might have died!

i think that's all. i'm kind of too tired and irritated today with many people in my life to come up with anything profound for this entry. maybe after i'm past the point of being pissed and contemplate things some more. i'll update in a few days and hopefully feel better. if it's any sign of anything, the past 2 days have reminded me starkly of high school. and we all know how awful that was for me. i hope it gets better real soon.

today's econ exam was another testament to how i don't need to bust my ass studying. sweet. i didn't study that much at all and it ended up pretty well i think. not as well as the first one i'm sure, but not bad overall. plus i think the curve is going to kick ass. so good for me.

marketing meeting was kind of fun. we have a lot of fun together. i like my hballers. and i like how we are good at hbullshitting. :)

above all, late night denny's session with jess made my day...day/morning i guess. i'm really glad that we can talk and that she asked me to just go out to get some food and talk. we have so much in common and i swear we could babble and tell stories and joke around for hours and hours. i'm really really glad for it and i hope we get to become good friends. us "military wives" are just so alike :) and we need to support each other too in addition to our boys and our troops!!!

goin to bed smilin...

i tend to neglect my blog a little bit now that i do most of my writing to Bart every day. but it's worth updating everyone else sometimes too. not that anyone really reads this thing anyway...

i still miss Bart like crazy, but he called on thursday night, so that helped. we talked for literally 2 minutes, but who cares, just knowing that he's fine and he called and hearing his voice is all that counts and all i really needed. it's so awesome to hear from him. i love him and i miss him so much and it's really tough without him. i'm lucky because just when i start to get down, he reads my mind and gets in touch with me somehow. possibly a testament to how really in love we are and that we tend to be on the same wavelength. pretty cool. i'm sad that he's gone and he's in a crappy crappy shithole. he sounded ok though, and he's built and trained for this shit. i don't worry about him too much. i just miss him so much that sometimes i go a little crazy. but hearing him say he loves me somehow makes everything right in my world again.

tonight i went over to my friend jessica's apartment to pack up care packages for the troops for SST. i really had a great time. it was pretty fun because we both are in kind of the same situation with deployed boys. so we had a lot to talk about! we traded stories and whatnot about our soldiers and chit chatted and it was a good time. we also got a lot done and packed up i think like 15 boxes. we like to take care of our troops :) it's too bad that i only have another month or so to work with these girls, because i feel like we could've been kick ass friends if we had more time. oh well, actually, the time part doesn't really matter. we'll get to hang out plenty more and that will be fun. plus they are from illinois, and i'll be there anyway. ha. i just like meeting cool new people that i have things in common with. it's nice to know i'm not the only one out there.

this weekend i have been a big pile of shit. stacey informed me that i have something called "senioritis" and suggested i talk to Mike about the cure for it because he's a medic. i don't think he can help. i think my illness is beyond any cure. mostly, i think i'm fucked. but in the long run, actually i win because i already have a jobby job job. wOOt!

guess i better get back to the econ work. it's not going too well so far and my eyeballs are starting to bug out. no good. oh well. i guess i'll have to cram my fucking ass off tomorrow. wonderfullllll...

and also, i got 3rd in our bracket tourney. fuckin kick ass!!! and go george mason. ha.

been havin a baaaaaaaad week to say the least. school is really really stressing me out. i haven't slept. at all. in the past week for sure. my boss asked me how i got the black eye. that's how purple my eyes looked. again, school really really sucks a lot. and i haven't been helping at all because i have a HUGE case of senioritis. at the same time, fuck it, i fucking deserve it after 16 years. luckily the only thing i'm not really stressed per se about is Bart. i don't worry about him anymore. he's too crafty to have to be worried about. i know nothing will happen to him. however, i do miss him so much i feel like my body is going numb some days. i think about him all the time and i just can't wait till i can hear from him. hopefully the bombardment of letters will inspire him to write a page or two.

positive things about the week so far are very few:
-Mike makes me laugh, and thank God i can talk to him a little bit because Afghanistan doesn't suck that much for him quite yet
-Brian also makes me laugh, mostly because he is a ridiculous sex freak. ha.
-chit chatting with Allyn for the first time in foreverrrrrr. glad to hear from him and glad to be able to catch up some more.
-great documentary, Control Room, in strategy on monday
-slap happy early morning akhdar=baydva group meeting today
-my boss, Jim, taking me to this awesome korean restaurant for lunch yesterday

that's about it. look at that. only 6 good things in the whole entire week. and most of them only lasted for a few minutes, all of them less than 1.5 hours. so that's like 8 hours of good in 96 hours over 4 days. wtf. something good needs to come along here very quickly.

and now i have to STUDY INSTEAD OF GOING TO BURGERAMA. add THAT to the list of good things for the week!!!!!!!!!! grr.

i'm missing Bart like crazy out of my mind. he's all i've been able to think about every second of the day. which is usually the case anyway, but at least before i could come home and talk to him. now i can't and so i sit and think some more. i just love him and miss him so much. all i want is a hug and a kiss from my big brave soldier.

school sucks. i'm sick of it and there is too much shit to do for it right now. i'm like thisclose to blowing it all off.

st. patty's day was a blast. bar from 9am till 6pm is a wonderful idea!!! :) i love my friends sooooooooo much!!!! and i also love green beer. and free chipotle burritos. although those two things do not love my digestive system too much...

counting down the days till graduation and starting with centex!!! can't wait. i'm getting everything straightened out with them tomorrow about my compensation package and everything, so that will be good. and i also can't wait to get out of this place and on my own again. just me and the kittypants. :)

alright, back to work. or maybe a catnap...just me and the kittypants...

CI withan ARA (9:19:04 PM): LOVE YOU MORE THAN ALL THE STARS IN THE SKY! <3333

yeah that's one of my favoritest things right now. not only am i lucky enough to have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me, but also his family loves me too. and i get to gain an awesome awesome little sis, very nice and funny little bro, and another little sis who i know is just as awesome as the other but i just don't really know her as well yet. anyway, i hope i get to keep them. at least for now and as long as Bart wants to keep me around :)

this stuff just means the world to me. love and family are my life. i love you all!!!!!

haven't posted in a while. guess i didn't have time or didn't really have anything too interesting to say. not that i usually do...but anyway.

just got back from spring break in the keys. it was so much fun. actually had a really great week with just my parents and me. and my mom didn't drive me crazy, so that's good news. got attacked by a 6 foot iguana. took some pics. got a decent tan. weather was great. saw lots of cute stray kitties. you know, the usual florida fun in the sun :) it was a much needed vacation. and now sadly, back to school.

got to talk to Bart on thursday. nearly crapped my pants when i saw it was him on the phone. soooooooo excited. he's "alive and well" as he puts it. that's all i need to know. i miss him so much. my heart just aches every day knowing that he's gone for so long. it's ok. we're both strong enough for this and will be even stronger after it's over. can't wait :)

got my offer letter from centex. little disappointed. making some phone calls tomorrow for sure. so we'll see what happens with that.

watched jarhead. good movie. and also today, the cutting edge and the cutting edge 2: going for the gold. both excellent. seriously, so cute. it's nice to know that everyone can get together in the end, even if they almost marry some retarded model or something :)

excited for st. patty's day this weekend. definitely going to drink my share of green beer. and have some fun with joshy. so that will be good. then i think i might take a little trip to visit Bart's family the next weekend. we'll see if they'll all be home. either that or maybe i'll go to chicago to start scoping out apartments. either way, i'll probably take 2 of each of those trips before the end of the semester.

hmmmm...i think that just about covers the last week or 2. maybe something interesting will happen this week. probably not...

i used to like a house to myself. i don't anymore. i'm definitely needy right now, and there's no one here to help me. except brewer. and he is doing a good job of being extra cute and cuddly today. but i can't talk with him or anything, and that's really what i need. i'm lonely. and i'm sad.

i am going to florida tomorrow, which is pretty cool. i'm looking forward to the warm weather and getting to wear my adorable new clothes from old navy. i hope i get a nice tan and catch some fish and eat them too. it should be a good trip. i just hope that i don't let myself get me down and ruin it at all. because it's my last spring break, and also because i know Bart wouldn't want me worrying about him and having that ruin my good time in florida. so i'll keep that in mind. but i'll also keep him heavily in mind, because he always is. i love him so much and i miss him so much already. he better be ok and as safe as can be possible in an active war zone. i just hope i hear from him pretty soon with an address and stuff.

my friends and family are cool. i wish i could take them all with me to chicago in may. anyone who wants to make a change and move with me is more than welcome. i think that would be nice.

my cat is a freak. he's laying under my feet under my desk right now. *sigh* such a little weirdo, but i love him sooooooo much. i'm going to miss him a whole lot this week!!!!! but his uncle bill will take good care of him and they will have fun together.

we won the judge's award for our Spartan Spirit project in marketing. fucking sweet!!!! we put so much work into that project and it totally kicked so much ass. we definitely deserve an award. seriously, it was the best project ever in the history of projects. i'm so happy we did well on it because i'll need the good grade for that class...

burgerama last night...wow...total ridiculousness. check out the pics on my website and you'll see what i'm talking about. i was bad news. 2 pitchers and 3 shots in 3 hours will put me under the table every time. ha. that's what happens when school's been stressin you out and your heart goes to Afghanistan.

random random things to say today. oh well. i am random.

well. all my shitty school stuff is pretty much over. thank goodness. because i haven't slept and i've been super cranky and freaked out about this crap all week. i think i managed to do alright too. which is really exciting for me. especially since i'm really not used to doing things this way. i only studied for my midterm on monday for like 5 or 6 hours total, most of those hours just a few hours before the exam itself. definitely not what i usually do, and i think i pretty much aced the exam. sweet. big paper due today, started it on sunday. and by started, i mean googled the subject and started reading some articles. monday, continued to read articles. tuesday night about 10pm, continued to read articles, actually started writing paper. wednesday morning 3:15am, finished paper. 8:30am wednesday, turned in paper. it was a pretty shitty paper, not gonna lie. but honestly, i don't really care. i think it was enough to get me at least a 3.0, and i have one more thing that can bring my grade up too. so hey, fine with me. all in all, successsssssssss!

i've definitely realized i've probably wasted a lot of time overdoing things over the years in school. i don't regret it at all, because i have really learned a lot, grown myself, and done well for myself also. however, at this point, i'm glad to know that i can back off of myself a little bit and still accomplish the same standards. and also, i've realized that this semester really doesn't matter a whole lot in the scheme of things. i'll still do great overall, and my gpa can't possibly drop that much because i have too many credits. and it's not like Centex is going to request a transcript and take back their offer.

yeah, wOOt for me, i got a job!!!! YAYYYYY!!!!! i'm gonna be a field manager with Centex Homes Illinois Division. i'm not exactly sure where i'll be yet, but it will be Chicago suburbs for sure. so excited to be in that area, i love chicago. and so excited to be working for Centex!!! it is such an awesome company and is everything i've wanted since the very beginning of my job search. i wanted Centex so bad, and i got it. and they want me too!!! apparently it was a unanimous decision that they had to have me :) i'm very excited now that i have such a big weight off my shoulders. can't wait to just get done with school and start my awesome career!!! it's going to be great :)

do this thing, i'll really really like you a lot if you do :) http://kevan.org/johari?name=KPoo

also, great weekend last weekend. i absolutely adore Bart's family, and it was wonderful to get to spend some more time with them. and him of course. and mike too. i'm gonna miss those boys so much!!! i'm planning on going out to see Bart's mom and dad a couple times before i move away to chicago. they're so awesome for taking me in! at least i know that i don't have to worry about scary in-laws, IF that ever is the case...

my soldier left today. he's gone for a year. fighting for our country and our freedom. thanks, baby, we all owe you a lot. now stay safe and come home in one piece. i love you.

wow. i am such a piece of shit. what the fuck am i doing with myself.

i'm just going to go crawl under my bed now. and no one can talk me out of it.

i was about to write a nice long blog entry when i realized that i was exhausted. writing an entry when you're as tired as i am is like writing one when you are drunk. which, by the way, i have yet to do. but i feel like in this case, or for me at least, it would just be a big long rambling thing that poured out a million different thoughts and feelings that would all seem out of place the next morning.

so for now, we'll suffice it to say that i have a lot on my mind.

oh, i can at least add one mindless little thing that made me laugh today :)

BrewCityBabe11 (12:02:20 AM): she is really not very cute at all
Feathe131 (12:02:26 AM): not at all
BrewCityBabe11 (12:02:28 AM): i think he toook a step down
Feathe131 (12:02:31 AM): A step?
Feathe131 (12:02:37 AM): a few flights at least
BrewCityBabe11 (12:02:42 AM): LOL
BrewCityBabe11 (12:02:44 AM): thank you
BrewCityBabe11 (12:02:48 AM): that probably made my day
BrewCityBabe11 (12:02:51 AM): and is probably going in my blog

happiest girl in the world.

soon to be followed by saddest.

roughly two weeks left.

complications. lots of them. they really complicate things. needless to say, here i am analyzing again.

tomorrow morning i will wake up and get to see my sweetheart. nothin better in this world.

felt like changing my bloggy. was in a green mood yesterday. maybe i was feeling nostalgic for michigan state. even though it's more pea green than Spartan green. but as carolyn says, i do have a thing for pee.

i also have a thing for snuggling with my sweetie. *sigh* can't get enough of that. what a great weekend. i could reeeeally get used to this.

so excited to see Bart again this weekend. though not looking forward to a long scary drive through scary canadia land with scary french canadian people. i hate avril lavigne. maaaaaybe i'll still get lucky and be able to fly. but i'm already preparing for my pit stop in niagra falls. bill said it was cool. and he tried to convince me that "america junior" wasn't scary. but i'm having a hard time buying it. however, i will try it out if it saves me 2 hours in the car.

aaaaanyway.

i think i did pretty well on my econ test today. score one for me!!! life revelation is taking shape. i definitely have been MORE than a waste of space the past couple weeks. and i'm still doing alright. but we'll see how long that lasts before it blows up in my face. i'm thinking about 2 more days is the limit. then i self destruct. i think the self destruction will come in the form of a horrid grade on my strategy paper, which is due on march 1 and i have definitely not started a thing for. not even one little tidbit of researching. crap. it's ok. i'm not hyperventilating right now. i promise. *fingers crossed*

my whole body is so tense right now i feel just awful. my neck is killing me. i have a horrible cramp on the right side of my lower back that hasn't gone away for 3 days and has ceased to respond to any form of otc pain reliever...why can't my chiropractor make house calls...from wisconsin to michigan??? i have also pretty much stopped sleeping again. what a surprise. here it is 2:47am and i have to get up at 7:15. awesome. and it's too late to take tylenol pm :( what a wreck. it's ok. i'm not hyperventilating right now. i promise. *fingers crossed*

oh, happy late valentine's day. i had a decent one. mostly because the econ exam is over. but also because, even though we're not physically together, i know i have the most wonderful valentine in the entire world.

life's not perfect, but it still feels like it is.

i found $20 on the ground today walking back from class. FUCKING SWEET!!!! that has never happened to me before and i feel like i hit the lottery!!! seriously i don't even know what i am going to do with my new found wealth. i could buy a bottle of irish cream, a case of beer, groceries, go to the bar, buy a new charm for my bracelet, buy something cute to wear for spring break...so many possibilities!!! how exciting!!!

and also, this time tomorrow, there will be a soldier in my bed. YAY! even better than finding $20 on the sidewalk :)

highlight #1 of my day: talkin to my soldier for an hour or so :) *BIG SMILE* never fails to be the highlight of my day actually. i miss the days of talking to him for hours on end so much!!!! that was the best. given the choice, i'd choose bart over sleep every time. but i'll take what i can get now, and it still makes me the happiest girl in the world. even though i feel bad that our silly chattering wasted his trip to the mall...oh well, he can go back.

highlight #2 of my day: chatting with my favorite prof for like 45 minutes about stupid people who make us laugh because they are just so damn stupid. like people who think that the country of iraq speaks english. or that the middle east could invade the us. or that i won't smack them upside the head for saying something fucking stupid.

highlight #3 of my day: i'm cuter than my ex's new girlfriend. hehe. score 1 for me! according to adriane, she has a "bulbous nose." hehe. i promise we're not really evil...

i'm totally sick to my stomach. i'm all hot. nauseous and can't concentrate...for the first time since i got myself into this, i am having a little mini-breakdown. it's not good and i hope it goes away or i figure out a way to change it or deal with it. otherwise i'll never get through this year.

thanks Robert McNamara for ruining my day.

Sashinka14 (11:46:30 PM): (o)(o)
BrewCityBabe11 (11:46:36 PM): lol
BrewCityBabe11 (11:46:37 PM): thank you
Sashinka14 (11:46:44 PM): you're so very welcome.
BrewCityBabe11 (11:46:55 PM): :-) i lovvvveeee youuuuuu
Sashinka14 (11:47:04 PM): I LOVE YOU!!!!!
BrewCityBabe11 (11:47:24 PM): sorry i couldn't hang out more, school is pooping all over me right now :-(
Sashinka14 (11:47:37 PM): it's otay
Sashinka14 (11:47:49 PM): I hate when school poops all over you.
BrewCityBabe11 (11:47:56 PM): seriously, it's the worst
Sashinka14 (11:48:10 PM): I think school needs some immodium AD
BrewCityBabe11 (11:48:17 PM): it definitely does
BrewCityBabe11 (11:48:30 PM): it also needs a swift kick in the teeth
Sashinka14 (11:48:50 PM): ouch.
BrewCityBabe11 (11:49:10 PM): it deserves it. since it already kicked me square in the butt.
Sashinka14 (11:50:32 PM): it kicked you in the butt, THEN pooped on you? I think school has an ass fetish.
BrewCityBabe11 (11:51:28 PM): haha yeah. and that's creepy. so again, it deserves a kick in the teeth for being a freak.
Sashinka14 (11:51:43 PM): yup
Sashinka14 (11:51:48 PM): school is a sick freak.
BrewCityBabe11 (11:51:52 PM): exactly

well, i'm totally freaking out about school this month. i have so much to do for classes, i feel like i'm going to explode. i feel like i am definitely not going to get good grades in all of my classes, namely marketing and econ, possibly strategy, but i can probably pull off strategy since i'm doing the book report for extra. and all of this leads up to me spending this entire weekend, yes, thursday, friday, saturday, AND sunday doing homework and working on projects and papers and whatnot. i'm not very much of a superbowl girl anyway. and i'm having a little fun...doing econ review questions while drinking irish cream...

speaking of, i have gone through an entire bottle in a week. that is not a good sign. i never go through alcohol that quickly. oh but it's so damn good!

and do you know what is not good? spitting. spitting is pet peeve #2 for me. #1 smoking, #2 spitting. i want to fucking flip out every time i am walking somewhere and see a big pile of spit right on the sidewalk. my first reaction is obviously to make sure i don't step in it, and my second reaction is to throw up. fucking gross. is there a reason you can't keep your spit in your mouth? i mean, 90% of people can, so why can't you? what makes your spit so different that it can't be swallowed? HUH???!!!??? ugh. sorry. i know a lot of people who spit and i really try not to let it bother me. and sometimes it doesn't bother me. but sometimes, it just gets on my fucking nerves.

i'm really excited for next weekend. Bart and my parents will be here, so it's going to be really really great. i'm so excited for them to meet each other! and i am really glad that Joe is coming too. it's definitely very important to me. and it will be a fun weekend for sure. including lots of yummy meals, probably some shopping, chit chatting, partying, and probably my mom smoking down with Bill. always a good time. too bad i can't yet because i am a loser and don't have a job :( but it's ok, it's actually a good thing because it occupies my Mommy and will probably give me some time to sneak off and get some genuine Irish cream...wink wink...

p.s. the weather sucks. good thing i'll be in florida a month from now. wOOt.