so i was just reading through some of my previous entries in this crazy little blog, and i was cracking up!!! possibly the best entry ever: IAPPY NEW YEA!!! hahahahaaa i had forgotten all about stupid Bill. hahaha. ridiculous :) i had forgotten about a lot of stuff from not that long ago, and it's just kind of fun to read through it all and remember the small stuff.
the other side of that is that i read through the past couple months and all i had written about was how much i loved Centex. to me, that is like the saddest thing in the whole world. i really wanted to and thought i would retire from that job. i did love it, and obviously it showed. *sigh* life goes on though. it's just kind of strange, yet cool, to see it all represented here in my blog forever.
another thing i noticed is that i used to get way more comments on my blog. how sad, no one reads it anymore :( but just in case, the comments are enabled, even on my fancy new pretty blog skin :) sometimes the comments are the funniest part of everything!
anyway, nothing too exciting going on, so this will be short. i miss my Soldier and i'm trying to espn him to call me tonight. hopefully that works...
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Saturday, September 23, 2006
i don't really think i have anything specific to write today, but for some reason, i felt like i wanted to post an update.
i've been very bored lately. i do NOT like being home. trust me, i was built to work. my brain just races and time just slows to almost a stop when i am forced to sit home by myself. i hate it. so i spend at least 4 or 5, if not more, hours on the computer a day, searching, probing, attacking the internet for possibilities. so far, it's been ok for me. in just 2 weeks, i've gotten 2 interviews. not much other than that, but i've slacked off a little bit this week, and next week i'll be trying a new avenue, so hopefully i'll get some more stuff set up that way.
anyway, the interview i had this week went really well, almost too well in fact, because i found myself in a position of being the top candidate for a job that would make me take over a $10,000 pay cut. yeah, no joke, that's big. it's a cool job, involves travel to the tropics, fun stuff, busy, etc etc etc, but i couldn't come to terms with taking that big of a pay cut. money is certainly not the only thing i'm going to take a job for, i am very very big on job satisfaction. however, i know what i'm worth, and it's not upper $20s, especially after i was making over $40k with bonus potential in my last job. i just couldn't in all good conscience take that job and live with myself. in addition to that, it was a very stressful week because the lady needed the person hired to start on monday. so i had to go over every pro and every con in a very short period of time, run it by everyone meaningful i knew, and try to come up with a yes or no for myself. as i leaned more toward no, i went into my second interview being very very honest with this woman. as such, i think she made the offer to the other person, and i'm fine with it because it takes the stress off of me having to turn down an offer. overall, the whole thing gave me just a pinch more confidence that after only 2 weeks, i could pretty much get an offer. i'm going to be ok.
the next interview i have is october 2 for a hospitality management group. not like traditional managers, like finance managers, deal managers, etc. it's a position for a business development analyst, which is basically the exact same position that i got an offer for back in the day earlier this year from Rockbridge Capital down in columbus, OH. it's better because this company is a bigger company, plus it's local, and i know that there are MSU SHB alums there, which kind of gives me a little advantage. it's stressful because obviously i turned down this last job to kind of do myself and my search a little more justice, but nothing is for sure. i'm pretty confident that since i got an offer for the same type of job before, i have a good chance at this one, but every person is different and they will have a different opinion of me. so i'm a little scared, but i'm excited for the interview and i'm hoping that things go well. the bonus that really does make me want it is that it's in the same field as my main interest, real estate development, plus the financial analyst background would be so perfect for such a broad array of things if i want to make a career change in the future. and it also doesn't hurt that the position starts at $45k, which is actually more than i was making before. so everybody pray for me and this job, because i want it!
i'm not quite nervous yet because it has only been a couple weeks and the average job search takes 12.5 weeks. however, i'm a total worry wart and this is tough and crazy and it's a cruel world out there!!! i'm pretty terrified that i won't get this job and then i'll have no other interviews and nothing good set up and it'll be Christmas and i won't have anything. and then i'll either be really sorry i didn't take this first job, or i'll end up taking something stupid and low paying as a filler job just to make money and keep up the search in the meantime. i hope that doesn't happen, people tell me that it won't and that i'm intelligent and bright and talented and i'll get something great soon. i sure hope they're right because i don't know what i will do if things don't work out soon.
the major blessing in disguise in this whole episode is that i'll probably get to spend the entire 2 weeks of Bart's leave with him :D *BIG SMILE* i'm so incredibly excited i think i'm going to piss my pants about every 5 minutes!!!!! after 7 fucking months of agony being away from the man i love, we'll finally get to see each other again!!!! I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!! it's going to be AMAZING and it'll just be so much more amazing if i can spend all of the time with him and not have to work. it's looking that way, even if i do get this next job. since the interview isn't until the 2nd, that means they probably have a few days that week, then they'll call for 2nd interviews the next week, maybe take some time to decide, then make offers, then negotiate. so, i have basically decided that WHEN i get that offer, my main negotiation will be to start in november, not right away. if they are able to wait for a person to fill this position for a few weeks, they're probably able to wait a few more weeks. i've got it all worked out :) and the BEST thing that i'm looking forward to the most about Bart being home is picking him up at the airport. i can't even explain how exciting that is to me!!!! i can't wait to see him walk out and to just throw my arms around his neck and drop everything and hug him and kiss him...it might just be the happiest moment of my life so far!!!!! and i get to be the very first person he sees. that's exciting too :) i still can't believe it's only a month away!!!! after all this damn time, it's only a month away!!! it almost doesn't seem real. but, it is real. it is very real :)
and speaking of it being real, so is my jiggly ass and thighs. which means it's time to go and work out. i got a new workout dvd and new weights and a stability ball, and WOW, it's definitely a workout!!!! if i do this freakin crazy thing every day for the next month, i'll look like heidi klum by the time Bart gets home!!!! errrr...probably not, but at least i'll be back to normal, not chubby, me :)
last but not least, fuck notre dame, you suck balls, GO STATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i've been very bored lately. i do NOT like being home. trust me, i was built to work. my brain just races and time just slows to almost a stop when i am forced to sit home by myself. i hate it. so i spend at least 4 or 5, if not more, hours on the computer a day, searching, probing, attacking the internet for possibilities. so far, it's been ok for me. in just 2 weeks, i've gotten 2 interviews. not much other than that, but i've slacked off a little bit this week, and next week i'll be trying a new avenue, so hopefully i'll get some more stuff set up that way.
anyway, the interview i had this week went really well, almost too well in fact, because i found myself in a position of being the top candidate for a job that would make me take over a $10,000 pay cut. yeah, no joke, that's big. it's a cool job, involves travel to the tropics, fun stuff, busy, etc etc etc, but i couldn't come to terms with taking that big of a pay cut. money is certainly not the only thing i'm going to take a job for, i am very very big on job satisfaction. however, i know what i'm worth, and it's not upper $20s, especially after i was making over $40k with bonus potential in my last job. i just couldn't in all good conscience take that job and live with myself. in addition to that, it was a very stressful week because the lady needed the person hired to start on monday. so i had to go over every pro and every con in a very short period of time, run it by everyone meaningful i knew, and try to come up with a yes or no for myself. as i leaned more toward no, i went into my second interview being very very honest with this woman. as such, i think she made the offer to the other person, and i'm fine with it because it takes the stress off of me having to turn down an offer. overall, the whole thing gave me just a pinch more confidence that after only 2 weeks, i could pretty much get an offer. i'm going to be ok.
the next interview i have is october 2 for a hospitality management group. not like traditional managers, like finance managers, deal managers, etc. it's a position for a business development analyst, which is basically the exact same position that i got an offer for back in the day earlier this year from Rockbridge Capital down in columbus, OH. it's better because this company is a bigger company, plus it's local, and i know that there are MSU SHB alums there, which kind of gives me a little advantage. it's stressful because obviously i turned down this last job to kind of do myself and my search a little more justice, but nothing is for sure. i'm pretty confident that since i got an offer for the same type of job before, i have a good chance at this one, but every person is different and they will have a different opinion of me. so i'm a little scared, but i'm excited for the interview and i'm hoping that things go well. the bonus that really does make me want it is that it's in the same field as my main interest, real estate development, plus the financial analyst background would be so perfect for such a broad array of things if i want to make a career change in the future. and it also doesn't hurt that the position starts at $45k, which is actually more than i was making before. so everybody pray for me and this job, because i want it!
i'm not quite nervous yet because it has only been a couple weeks and the average job search takes 12.5 weeks. however, i'm a total worry wart and this is tough and crazy and it's a cruel world out there!!! i'm pretty terrified that i won't get this job and then i'll have no other interviews and nothing good set up and it'll be Christmas and i won't have anything. and then i'll either be really sorry i didn't take this first job, or i'll end up taking something stupid and low paying as a filler job just to make money and keep up the search in the meantime. i hope that doesn't happen, people tell me that it won't and that i'm intelligent and bright and talented and i'll get something great soon. i sure hope they're right because i don't know what i will do if things don't work out soon.
the major blessing in disguise in this whole episode is that i'll probably get to spend the entire 2 weeks of Bart's leave with him :D *BIG SMILE* i'm so incredibly excited i think i'm going to piss my pants about every 5 minutes!!!!! after 7 fucking months of agony being away from the man i love, we'll finally get to see each other again!!!! I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!! it's going to be AMAZING and it'll just be so much more amazing if i can spend all of the time with him and not have to work. it's looking that way, even if i do get this next job. since the interview isn't until the 2nd, that means they probably have a few days that week, then they'll call for 2nd interviews the next week, maybe take some time to decide, then make offers, then negotiate. so, i have basically decided that WHEN i get that offer, my main negotiation will be to start in november, not right away. if they are able to wait for a person to fill this position for a few weeks, they're probably able to wait a few more weeks. i've got it all worked out :) and the BEST thing that i'm looking forward to the most about Bart being home is picking him up at the airport. i can't even explain how exciting that is to me!!!! i can't wait to see him walk out and to just throw my arms around his neck and drop everything and hug him and kiss him...it might just be the happiest moment of my life so far!!!!! and i get to be the very first person he sees. that's exciting too :) i still can't believe it's only a month away!!!! after all this damn time, it's only a month away!!! it almost doesn't seem real. but, it is real. it is very real :)
and speaking of it being real, so is my jiggly ass and thighs. which means it's time to go and work out. i got a new workout dvd and new weights and a stability ball, and WOW, it's definitely a workout!!!! if i do this freakin crazy thing every day for the next month, i'll look like heidi klum by the time Bart gets home!!!! errrr...probably not, but at least i'll be back to normal, not chubby, me :)
last but not least, fuck notre dame, you suck balls, GO STATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, September 08, 2006
something happened this week that flipped my world upside down. i wasn't expecting it, and i'm still a little bit in shock. it's one of those life experiences that you take and learn from and become a better person because of. eventually, anyway. but for right now, i can't get past the fact that i'm sad and upset over the loss of something i've wanted so badly for a year now. something i have loved so dearly has been very abruptly taken away from me. it's disappointing, very disappointing, but i have to move on. i have to pick up the pieces and be strong and move on. and trust me, i'm a pro at that. but it's just more difficult this time because it's serious. the decisions i make over the next few weeks or maybe a couple months will not only affect me personally, but they will affect Bart too. and it's awfully hard to make big decisions without being able to discuss them with your other half! so things are tough, but i'll get through them. if i'm not being completely open about this, which i know is very strange for me because generally i'm extremely open with everything about my life, i'm sorry. it's too soon and too difficult for me to talk about right now. i don't want fake sympathy from people who say they understand. i don't want any of that. when i'm ready, and when things turn around, i'll let it all out and all the people closest to me will be the first to know. just bear with me if i'm a little weird for the next few weeks.
so just as a little word of advice, don't get complacent in your life. be on your guard and be prepared for the biggest shock of your life to happen tomorrow. don't take anything for granted, and don't think it can't happen to you, no matter how much you don't deserve it. but in the end, i guess life wouldn't be as exciting without its disappointments and challenges.
so just as a little word of advice, don't get complacent in your life. be on your guard and be prepared for the biggest shock of your life to happen tomorrow. don't take anything for granted, and don't think it can't happen to you, no matter how much you don't deserve it. but in the end, i guess life wouldn't be as exciting without its disappointments and challenges.
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