well. hmmm. i'm bored. and i am tired. but i am not ready to go to bed for some weird reason. so i guess i'll update my bloggy.

today i went over to my friend Brian's house for a few hours. he's the only person i have ever known since we were like 4, and we have always been friends. kind of in a strange way because we didn't like hang out in high school or anything, but still, we could always say hey and talk to each other and stuff. we were always cool. Brian went into the navy out of high school and ended up being a medic and going to iraq twice. the 2nd time he got hurt. not good. his arm got blown up by a bomb and he got seriously rocked because it was literally like 2 feet away from him. :( but he is coming along and doing pretty well right now, though he isn't in the navy anymore and he can't get back in and he hates that. he was one of those guys who wanted to be a lifer. and it just sucks because he would've been so great and he still wants to be, but something out of his control stopped him. i hate that. anyway, he is now living in madison and going to school there starting in january. so that will be good for him too. he was never a school person, believe me, but the military did him good in changing that. and in changing him in a very good way think. although, he is definitely still the same old Brian in a lot of ways. like in the way that he likes to go out and get trashed and party and whatever, and is a freaking sex addict who tends to go from girl to girl. although i was quite shocked to learn that he almost proposed to a girl and even got her a freaking $3500 ROCK! good thing he didn't go through with it. he definitely wasn't ready for that. haha. so anyway, too much background there, but we just sat and talked and talked and talked and talked for like almost 5 hours. the whole afternoon. it was really great. we got to talking a lot about so much random stuff. lots about relationships. a little reminiscing. a little about patriotism. and even a little about his injuries. it felt so good to just be like we always were. i'm very glad to have a friend like him. and i'm definitely going to be putting in a lot more effort to keep him closer. i have missed him for sure and i am actually really glad that he will be so close now. i will definitely call him up now that i actually can and get together with him when i am in madtown. (yes, joshy, i will come visit him and MAYBE stop by to see you ;) LOVE YOU!!!) and i managed to snap a picture of us. that made me happy. it's definitely going up on the bulletin board with all my other best friends.

it really made me think a lot, like why on earth did i lose touch with him over the past 2 years? what the hell was wrong with me? i had his address in iraq both times, i had his address when he was in the hospital in california...what kind of friend am i? were other things so much more important that i couldn't take 10 minutes out of my day to write him a letter? i am so frustrated with myself for that. and i told him that. and he understood, but still. i feel like such a jerk. i only hope that i can make it up somehow. but it's so different. i can't take it back that i didn't bother to write him while he was in iraq or send him a get well card while he was in the hospital recovering and fucking going crazy for months on end. and i really do care about him so much. ugh, i'm just so glad he's safe and well now. and i'm glad i can get to be friends with him again on a regular basis. someone was definitely watching over Brian that's for sure.

tomorrow i am going out to lunch with my aunt and then my grandma and her boyfriend will be staying at my house. and i'm supposed to go to tony's for his mom's like cocktail party or something. we'll see. at least i have some sort of plans. the ants are getting in my pants!!!!! i knew my limit was about 5 days here, and it's been 5 days. i am starting to think i'll never be able to get through the next 4 days. and it's driving me insane. the countdown has suddenly reached a standstill for me. crap. it was going so smoothly. maybe i'm just tired and irritable because i miss my sunshine so much. and i know that he's on his way back to michigan and i'm worried about him and also a little sad that i won't be able to see him tomorrow when everyone else will. fuckers. i'm gonna pee on all their cars when i see them.

enough bitching. i should just be happy that it's almost Christmas. and since it's almost Christmas, it's almost time to go back to michigan. thank goodness. it's been forever. ok not forever. but like i said, i'm just feeling it right now. it's because i'm not occupied with school or friends or work or whatever. thank God i'm going to be busy for the next year and a half or i'd fucking go out of my mind. ENOUGH BITCHING!!!!

life revelation update #3: having some second thoughts. got a 3.5 in fucking marketing. upside on that--beck's getting his fucking arms broken soon.