so i'm home in eagle river. that's right, eagle river, wisconsin. look it up on mapquest. it's in the middle of nowhere. smallest crappiest town you can find. if you can find it. but for as much as i can't stand it, it's good to be home for a few days. i definitely can't handle it for more than a few days, but i should be pretty busy the whole time that i am home, so that will make it at least halfway acceptable. the main problem is that there is just nothing to do here, everything closes by 7, and everyone goes to bed by 9. i can't handle it at all!!!!!! i go to bed at like 3 at the earliest. what the hell am i supposed to do for the extra 6 hours!!!?????!!! ugh. oh well. i guess i'll drink a lot. haha. (which i covered for tonight :))

tonight me, my mom, joe, and my grandma aggie went to nero's, which is my old vocal coach's restaurant here in town. and it the hippest coolest place in about a 200 mile radius. a martini bar in EAGLE RIVER!!! that's ridiculous. ludicrous! absolutely UNHEARD OF!!! but it's amazing, and thank GOD she made it. i had a great time. dinner was really good. the drinks were really good. even though i had to water down my martini for like an hour just to be able to drink it...and then i sang. i was so nervous. SO nervous. i was just sweating and shaking. and that's not normal for me. but oh well, it happens when you haven't done it in forever. but the whole bar liked it. patti was pleased. my mom was happy, of course. and everyone only had good things to say. and also, a nice lady bought me a drink :) it was good. then the bartender introduced me to the wonderful world of bailey's and frangelico. what a great drink. i mean both are great alone, but add them together and WOW! it's like double the pleasure, double the fun!!!!

AND joe made homemade irish creme!!! AMAZING!!! it was sooooooooooo good. my mom and i stayed up for like 2 hours drinking it and looking at old pictures of her and my real father. it was pretty cool. it was nice to see more than 2 pictures of him. and my mom is just so pretty. she was seriously the most gorgeous woman you have ever seen in your life when she was young. she was absolutely beautiful. can't take your eyes off of her type of beautiful. and i'm not just saying it because she's my mom. she had a perfect body, thin and muscular, great face, pretty long, long dark brown hair, and of course a great smile. no wonder all the guys loved her and all the girls were jealous of her. she's still amazingly gorgeous and everyond is still jealous of her. anyway, the pictures were really neat to see, and it was fun to talk with her for the whole night. which we literally did. just talked for hours. i love my mom so much. she's the best thing in my life. and our relationship just keeps getting better. she used to be so critical of me about so many things...but now she just understands me more and i can tell she is just so happy for me. and i am so appreciative of that. i love it.

i also love that tomorrow i will wake up and it will be sunday. i get to see my whole (step) family and have our Christmas together. it will be great, i can't wait. (hehe a little rhyme for ya.) i love family. it is all meaning so much more to me the older i get i think. not like i'm that old, but still, i realize now that these are the most important people in my life and this limited time i get with them is incredibly valuable.

and i love that tomorrow is sunday because it cuts the countdown to 8 days. if my family is the most important thing in my life, what's at the end of this coundown is a close second. soon to be a tie.

life revelation update: i got a 4.0 in real estate law. everything's gonna be alright.