so an upside of this constant traveling is that i get to stay in some pretty cool hotels. i'd say the omni is so far the best. yes, even over the waldorf=astoria in nyc. maybe it's because chicago is better, or maybe it's because the rooms in the waldorf are shitty. anyway. this is a sweet suite. haha you like how i did that?? ;) and the free wireless internet is fantastic.

the driving today was not fantastic however. could've done without it. i could do without a significant amount of driving for a while actually, but no, that is not going to happen. in fact i have to drive the 3 hours back tomorrow, then hang out for 2 days, then drive the 4 or so hours to columbus. wonderful. and that will probably suck because i don't know where i'm going and i've never even been to ohio before. blah. anyway. i wasn't going to whine today. so much for that.

i think i was going to mention how i thought a lot during my drive. about everything right now. many things went through my little peabrain. some good, some bad, some became severely overanalyzed as usual. i came to a few conclusions. i came up with a lot more questions. driving is such a great time to just think to yourself because you can't do anything else. too bad i don't want to be thinking so much right now. i just want to be doing nothing. and doing nothing in the company of a special someone.

27 days.

and 3 days until i hear from Centex. can we please all pray for me that i get that offer? PLEASE???!!!!????

and also let's hope that breakfast and lunch are good here tomorrow. because i'm so fucking starving i could almost eat the snickers bar in the little minibar here that costs $4.50 plus an 18% service charge. almost.

oh and let's thank tbs for having my favorite movie on right now. ace ventura: when nature calls. bumblebee tuna, my friends!

holy stressed. like seriously stressed. not like oh no i have an exam tomorrow and i didn't study enough so i might not do that well. no no no...

stressed like i have 3 group projects to complete within the next week and a half, including 2 presentations, two 5 page papers and one 12 page paper, and conducting a survey at local restaurants. i LOVE group projects. especially since the people involved in them refuse to communicate in any way and also don't go to class, so there is absolutely no way of getting in touch with them. it makes for a really great project that's for sure. man, stressed overall about school in general.

stressed like i haven't been home for more than 3 days in the entire month of november. in and out, in and out. ny, chicago, fl, chicago, columbus. in and out, in and out. it's like sex, only much crappier. except for the ny part of it. which may or may not have involved real sex which definitely wasn't crappy. plus i HATE leaving Brewer at home by himself :( especially over this past weekend, when no one was home at all. poor kitten. he probably hates his mommy now. i'm such a bad person.

stressed like i am beginning to get really nervous that i was overconfident in my ideas that i am going to get an offer from Centex. they said we are supposed to hear by dec. 1 either way, and i know that's another 4 days, but it seems like an eternity. i really really want this offer. it would make everything so much better right now. and it would be the 2nd best Christmas present this year for sure, because i already know i got the 1st best Christmas present. but anyway, i am so nervous that i'm going to get screwed and then i'll be nervous that none of the other offers are going to come through...which brings me to:

stressed like i have to go to chicago for LaSalle Bank's interview tomorrow, the actual interview is Tuesday. and columbus, OH on Friday for an interview with Rockbridge Capital. wonderful. i know i won't work for LaSalle, and i would take Rockbridge as a 2nd choice...but i just really don't want to have to leave again! and i have to drive to both and now the weather is crappy, which just plain fucking SUCKS. not because i can't drive in the weather, but because other people are incapable of it and that hinders my ability to negotiate the road around them. fucking soccer moms.

stressed like i feel like i've been spending all my money and not making any. and Christmastime is coming up and i have to buy so many gifts...i only have one little thing for my Mom and my gift for my little niece. that leaves the rest of my Mom's present, Joe's, friends, and Brewer, and probably one or two other people that i'm not forgetting, but don't need to mention by name. that's a lot. and not to mention i have zero time between now and Christmas to actually do this shopping. hello internet and EXTRA FEES FOR SHIPPING!!!!

apparently, i'm stressed overall. and apparently my blog has turned into nothing but a place for me to fucking whine and bitch. which i hate. i don't like to whine and bitch. it's stupid and pointless. but i guess i just think that it's even more stupid and pointless to whine and bitch to my friends and/or family in person, so if i do it here people can choose to read it or not to, and i don't have to waste precious social time being pissed off. instead i waste precious homework time...

i'll continue to point out that there are a few things that are stress relievers and not stress causers...or at least not yet: Brewer, my pride and joy :) , my recent trip to Disneyworld, good friends being there for me, my Mommy (who did a very good job of not being negative about anything this weekend, which is sometimes hard for her not to knock me down for something or other), my comfy bed, and the incredible spark that's lighting up my life right now...streaming down in the form of beautiful rays of sunshine...until the eclipse that happens about 2 months from now. but until then, it's constant perfect amazing summer.

so wow. crazy month. crazy month coming up. crazy life!

i just got back from chicago where i attended the regional job fair for Centex Homes. totally awesome. a really great three days. i have never been so excited to do something school/job search related before! seriously i was ridiculously excited to be there. i have never been a part of something like that, and i am soooooo glad i was invited! the first night was a little info session and then a reception. sweet. open bar, other students, and like 40 representatives from every different division and every different department of Centex. sooooo much fun!!! i got to talk to all the people from the illinois division, which is where i want to work, and i think i really impressed them. i went back up to my suite after the reception even more excited about Centex and the next two days there. it was great. the next day was in the field, which was freaking amazing. i am sooooo excited about construction!!! what a dork!!! we got to go to two neighborhoods, beautiful, tour from foundations to rough to drywall to models, including the construction trailer :) aaaaand i got to keep my hardhat :) excellent. so that was really cool. and i kind of got picked to interview with the director of the design center, which wasn't really included in the recruiting process and the whole three day thing. how special am i??? haha. it was very cool to have another opportunity or avenue to pursue. and i got to pretty much make friends with the guys and girl who were doing the tours, so that was cool. they were all young and goofy and fun, but at the same time knew their shit. impressive. then we went back to the hotel and went out to the weber grille, which was freakin sweet as well. i drank a pitcher of sangria which was soooo yummy, and sat with a bunch of construction management majors from State, which was ridiculous. wow. i can guarantee our table was the only one doing tequila shots at dinner. haha. MSU REPRESENT!!! anyway dinner was really good, i had salmon. then i chatted with the illinois guys a little bit more, they introduced me to some more illinois people, and then i went back to my suite to relax because i had 4 interviews today starting at 830am. and i got to talk to Bart. excellent. always adds to my day :) interviews went well today. i interviewed with 4 guys from a department that i don't want to go into, but diversification and more information is always better, so it was good talking to them. then i had like 2 hours to walk around and shop a bit, then i came home. long day. long 3 days. but a really great 3 days.

what a long story. sorry about that. it was pretty much every single little detail about it. i'm such a dork. anyway, Centex is really the type of company i want to work for. i am pretty confident i'll get an offer from them. i reeeeeally hope that i do. and if i do, i'll accept it. i'm going to interview with 3 more companies and that's fine, but i know what i want when i see and i don't need to fuck around about it. i think there's a place for me at Centex and a lot of opportunity and potential for a really great career. so everybody cross your fingers for me :)

lots of good things going on right now. well school pretty much sucks. but the job search rocks, trips this month rock a lot, and Sunshine (if you don't know who Sunshine is, you don't need to worry about this :)) rocks my whole wide world. so Kourtney is a happy camper.

Amazing. with a capital A. i can't even think of any other words to describe this weekend. partially because i'm exhausted, but partially because i still don't believe it was really real. my wishes don't usually come true.

so wow. holy crap i'm so stressed. everything in my life just slapped me in the face. like TAKE THAT BITCH!!! wow.

a) school. i have 3 fucking group projects before the end of the semester. i hate group projects with a passion. the worst thing in the world to me is to depend on someone else to come through for my grade. hence why i take charge of all the groups. which just adds a little more stress. good job, kourt.
b) second interviews. i've got 4 of these coming up. holy crap i have to graduate and get a job. and apparently within like the next month. yeah, it's scary. they all seem so enthusiastic now, but just wait until i show up all frazzled and freaked out and can't answer any of their questions. then what do i do? no one will want me. fuck. then i have to move back to eagle river and rot in that stupid hellhole. excellent. and i thought i was doing so well.
c) missing school for second interviews. this is the worst combination of things ever. i HATE missing class. almost more than i hate spiders. and i reeeeeally hate spiders. missing class makes me feel like i'm not in control, and if i can control anything, it's school and probably nothing else. i don't like to control much else, but my grades are my pride and joy. so missing class stresses me out sooooo much. and i have to miss probably about 6 days of classes before the end of the semester, including an exam. and seeing that there are only a few more weeks of classes, that is a lot. A LOT. and between the group projects and last exams and whatnot, i'm going to cry and get bad grades and cry again. crap.
d) everything else. a lot of traveling coming up, that is good. i get to go to disneyworld. also good. but there's more stuff circulating than plane rides and mickey mouse. i feel like every paycheck is going down the drain, and i'm not even spending carelessly. i'm just freaking feeding myself!!! (and my cat.) i feel like i'm losing valuable time here at State by not being able to spend time with my friends because i'm stressed about school and have to leave all the time for these damn interviews. i'm concerned about everyone right now, it's not just me that is going through a rough time. it seems to be plaguing quite a few people right now, just in different ways. and i am a caring and compassionate person, so that just makes me worry and adds to everything i am thinking about. which brings up how i think so damn much. i'm an analyzer and sometimes it's just too much. i don't even think it turns off when i sleep. i love my parents, but some things they say annoy me right now. they want me to make the choices they would make, and that's not a good plan. plus my mom is getting on my case about boys right now, which is really not cool. goodness, i'm 21 now, i think i can figure it out. but on the other hand, she's been a good help to talk about for all this crapola in my life. oh, and my cellphone is breaking. which is pretty damn awesome. AND i have to iron clothes for NYC. I HATE IRONING!!!!!!!!!!!

so after whining for a considerable amount of time, i guess i feel a little better. not really. especially since this blog is halfway secret and probably no one will comment on it :( however, if you read it, i strongly invite you to comment. (or i'll pee on you.) and thanks for reading the ramblings of a little whiny girl whose problems are certainly no worse than anyone else's. which by the way, i'm not trying to say they are, but they're still there.

lastly, there are good things going on now too. (i'm certainly not as depressed as i sound, CV)

a) Stacey. i adore her with all my heart and soul. never before have i had so much fun with a girl!!! damn we have a blast together. i wish we would've gotten this close earlier, because it's great.
b) getting 2nd interviews...a solid chance is better than no chance at all...
c) other friends. i love everyone else too :) didn't mean to exclude anyone or put stacey on a pedestal, but i haven't had a best friend in a long time, so it's really special to me. but everyone else fills up my frame shelf and bulletin board too!!! so thanks for bein there this year and putting up with my drunken shenanigans...
d) real estate. love it. wayyyyy more than hb. and i'm gonna love it for the rest of my life :)
e) the OC started again. sweet.
f) my kitty pants. he'll always be a good thing in my life. i love him sooooooo much!!! Brewer = pure LOVE!
g) sunshine.

and now that no one who read this ever wants to talk to me again, i think i'll just go now.

i think it's a good idea to start a blog. my life is quite uninteresting, but i always enjoyed keeping a journal. take it or leave it, it doesn't have to be for you to read. as a good friend said, journals are supposed to be for yourself only. yeah, well, sometimes outside input is a good thing too.

first off. i think maybe i talk about pee too much...